I admire the friends who have helped shape my life. During Women’s History Month, we often celebrate the women who changed the world through movements, ideas, and leadership. However, women also save each other in ways that are rarely as dramatic or visible from the outside. This happens in conversations that last until three in the morning, in text messages that arrive exactly when you need them, and of course, in the quiet understanding that someone knows the worst and most vulnerable parts of you and stays anyway. Friendship between women can be soft, protective, and steady all at once. Sometimes it’s the only thing holding you together as everything else falls apart.
Over the years, I realized that events didn’t define the most important turning points in my life; it was the women who stood by my side at those times that did. They were there when I was a child, trying to understand the world; when I was a teenager, navigating chaos and insecurity; and when I began the confusing process of becoming an adult. Each of these friendships carries a different version of me inside it.
Looking back, I can trace entire chapters of my life through the women who were there to witness them:
The First Witness
I met her in preschool, at an age when friendships start without explanation. We were just two kids who ended up next to each other, and somehow, we never completely left each other’s lives.We haven’t always been inseparable. Our lives moved in different directions, and there were years where we didn’t see each other much.
Still, she’s always been in the background of my life in a steady way. She’s seen me in vulnerable moments and never made me feel small for them. Even now, she includes me in her professional world and values my presence in it, that quiet loyalty has always meant more to me than loud declarations of friendship.
My High School Soulmate
Some friendships feel almost instantaneous, like you recognize each other before you’ve even had time to explain who you are. That was us.
High school was messy and emotional in all the ways that teenage years usually are. We went through relationships, heartbreaks, embarrassing moments, and those awkward phases where you’re trying to figure out who you are. Somehow, we navigated through all of it together. There was always this sense that we were on the same wavelength, understanding the same jokes and the same fears without needing to explain them.
When I think about those years, I don’t think of the chaos first. I think of the feeling of having someone beside you through it all.
The One Who Stayed for the Growing Pains
She’s the friend who witnessed my transition from adolescence into actual adulthood. We saw each other through the years when life felt like experimentation: parties, bad decisions, confusing relationships, and trying to understand what love even meant.
However, we also slowly watched each other grow increasingly serious about the future. Careers started to matter, and goals became clearer. Yet, through it all, she managed to keep the same spirit she always had: someone who can laugh easily, but still give you honest advice when you need it. Those are the years when you need guidance the most — and she was always there for it.
The First Friend I Made in College
Starting college felt strangely lonely at first. My first year had been in Washington, D.C., and when I arrived back home in Puerto Rico, I walked into campus feeling like I had missed the moment when everyone else had already found their people.
Then she appeared.
We had a class together and then another one the following semester, so we kept running into each other. Our friendship wasn’t loud or constant, but it was steady. With her, I always feel safe and not judged. She has that rare quality of being deeply focused, yet warm and welcoming. To me, she’s the muse of my digital camera right now.
The Friend Who Feels Like a Hug
Some friends feel like a deep breath.
With her, everything slows down. Time with her looks like brunch, Pilates, long walks, or simply sitting somewhere peaceful. She loves dogs in the way that only true dog lovers do, and her dogs somehow carry the same calm energy she does.
She has also worked hard to make peace with her family; so visiting her parents’ house feels strangely comforting. My own family life has often been complicated, but being there feels like stepping into a warm, calm home. Sometimes the kindness of someone else’s family can feel like a small form of healing.
The Unexpected Chosen Family
Some friendships arrive when you’re not expecting them. She does my hair, technically as part of her job, but the way she cares for me never feels transactional. She’s always busy, always working, but when I need her, she makes time. She loves my family, and I love spending time surrounded by her energy.
One of my favorite memories with her is of her birthday at the beach: sushi, a pool all to ourselves, and ice cream afterwards. It was simple and perfect in the way that good days sometimes are. She’s the kind of friend who appears at exactly the right moment in your life and somehow becomes part of your chosen family.
The Strength We Give Each Other
Each friendship carries a different version of me: the child I was, the teenager trying to understand herself, and the woman I am still becoming. Women strengthen each other in ways that are often quiet but deeply lasting.
Through friendship, we help each other grow, recover, and keep moving forward. We listen, challenge each other, celebrate each other, and sometimes simply stay when things feel uncertain. None of us become who we are completely on our own; that’s something I think about during Women’s History Month. Behind every woman becoming herself, there are often other women beside her offering support, care, and perspective. Together, we shape each other’s lives in ways that make us stronger than we ever would alone.