It’s here folks! Family Gatherings season has come upon us and like every other year, we’re still not in the mood for answering uncomfortable questions or dealing with all the controversial conversations at dinner time. We love our family but sometimes it can be overwhelming and that’s normal but here’s some tips and reminders that you’re doing great.
It’s Inevitable: Relationship Status
We all know that this question will come whether we like it or not: ¿Y cómo está la novia/el novio/le novie?
It gets old quick even if you do have a significant other. You don’t owe anyone any hot goss about your status, and it’s okay to not want to talk about your romantic or sexual life. It’s fine to be single or to just not be comfortable with where the conversation is going
These questions can get pretty triggering. It’s important to remember that your mental health is more important than spilling the tea. Your relationship status is n’t anybody’s business except yours. If you don’t want to talk about it you can totally skip it. Secondly, if you’re single, remember, there is no hurry, you’re not “wasting your youth” or prime years. Whatever reasons you have for not being in a relationship are totally valid and you owe no one explanations. Being secretive about your romantic life is 100% okay.
If you’re worried about coming across as impolite, laugh, make some offhand comments and change the course of the conversation.
College and Careers
Look, I think I speak for every collegiette when I say this: asking about why we haven’t finished our degree (or why we won’t finish next year either!) is pretty annoying. I get it, our relatives just want to be supportive and think that pushing our buttons will help us. Truth is: these stressful conversations won’t help any of us to graduate any faster. So hear me up kids, don’t let these questions drown you. You’re taking your time, you’re doing your best, you’re doing great.
The same goes with “Will that career is enough to pay the bills?”. If you’re studying something you’re truly passionate about then you’re doing the right thing, don’t let them get in your head. It’s your future. I also want to stress that if you’re taking a gap year or going through some decision-making that’s impacting the time you take to graduate: drawing your own path is more important than graduating in four years. We’re all on our personal journeys.
You’re not lost, you’re not wasting your time.
Political Issues…
Being part of a family involves political differences between said members. How do you prepare for this? Avoid it! Some people enjoy respectful political conversation but if you’re not comfortable with this, just remove yourself from the conversation. Do your best to bring up other topics. You know how bad can it get and is it really worth it to discuss with them? Sure, you can always express how you feel about certain topics. The odds of changing someone’s mind or convincing a family member that what they’re saying is 100% classist and racist are very low.
Your mental health is more important than the inevitable stress that comes with political discussions. In other words, be vocal but be selective; pick your battles. Controversial topics shouldn’t be “controversial”. They’re supposed to be inviting and interesting debatable topics but this only works if both parties are open to listening. In family gatherings, most of the time, this isn’t the case.
Family gatherings are supposed to be about love and family time but it’s okay to take a time-out every here and there. All these been said I really hope you guys have a fun time despite the adversities. Don’t let these days kill your vibe. Know your worth and never doubt it. It may get rough but you’re tougher. Happy Holidays, babes!