Over the past few weeks, I’ve been having this recurring thought process about… shame? I guess you could say? I was overthinking, as we all do, about all the things I tend to enjoy in the privacy of my room, or through my headphones (if we’re talking about music, of course), or when I’m driving by myself in the car. I tend to get excited about that thing I’m enjoying, be it a book, an album, a fictional universe, or even the crescent moon I saw last night.
And then the loneliness hits. Because who can I share these things with?
Whenever I listen to my favorite artist, someone always asks if they can change the music. Whenever I talk about my favorite fictional universe, someone either says it’s a mess or they simply don’t show any interest. “She’s so overrated,” “That is so boring,” “They don’t know what they’re doing anymore,” or my personal favorite, “That character is just wack.” Whatever that means. I’ve felt judged by the people that were supposed to love me for the things that made me me. They’ve unintentionally found things about myself to crush; creating new anxieties and insecurities, and things to worry about and overthink about. I’ve had people like that in my life. I’ve probably been like that to someone in my life.
But, regardless of the scenario: It is exhausting.
I no longer want to feel ashamed of loving this and that, of making these things important to me. They make life a bit more bearable, even if I only get to enjoy them by myself. And these are feelings I’ve been carrying with me for a very long time.
Those things that other people think are basic, or overrated, or maybe even lame, are still a fundamental part of my life, that make me me, that make me understand life a little bit better, and bear it a little bit better. Perhaps I sound like I’m whining a bit, but hear me out. There’s people that struggle with being proud of who they are, so they resort to hiding from their true self. No one should feel ashamed because of what they love.
And so, I wanted to set a goal for myself: I will no longer let anyone shame me for loving these things that make life more exciting for me. And I hope you can too. Make a list of things that make you you, that you will no longer accept judgment from others because of them. Even if it’s the most random thing, like wearing mismatched socks, or a song title, or even how you take your coffee or tea. No matter how “basic” it is. Even if it’s liking Taylor Swift or Marvel. Just so you know, those two are on my list.
I don’t deserve to feel ashamed of myself for finding joy in these little things or big universes. You don’t deserve that either. Make your list. Do and watch and listen to the things you love. And do it proudly.
So what if you’re “basic”? Love it unapologetically.
Lots of love,