As a woman, I think that most, if not all of us, share many similar experiences. Even though they might not be entirely the same since each one of us has our own unique identity with different backgrounds from around the world, I believe women have a bigger sense of connection and empathy due to these shared experiences. Most of us live with constant changes happening to our bodies, a painful awareness of how a spectator might perceive us, and a shared universal battle to be respected and appreciated in our lives. We also share a beautiful, unique bond that stems from these similarities that can be understood without fear.
To provide some context, a few months ago I decided to live and study abroad for a semester in a country where, although my native language is spoken, it still has a diverse set of cultural differences. It sounds surreal to me that someone from a small island from the marginalized Caribbean is in Spain, currently adapting to a completely different routine. A part of me fears I may never want to go back home (I love it here!).
Life in this foreign country is very different from the one that is familiar to me in the small dot that Puerto Rico fills in the global map. Its inherent difference is based on the fact that I’ve had to learn to coexist in a foreign country, while trying to meet certain academic standards, and to keep exploring its culture. I said goodbye to my hour-long drives to campus and embraced reading maps, remembering street names, and started using trains and bus stops. I’ve learned that ‘adobo Goya’ is a holy grail for Latin Americans living in Spain because the seasoning and food preparation works differently. I write this with a strong angst in the pit of my stomach. What I would give to have a full plate of tostones and mofongo next to me. When it comes to cultural diversity, it is a must to experience everything this city offers. I’ll never forget my first time walking around my local library; it was an ethereal experience. Also, I noticed that in the ‘metro’ a lot of people use that time sitting from station to station to read a book. Another interesting fact is that Latin American music is very embedded into the nightlife; Puerto Rican artists are highly streamed here.
Photo in Madrid by me
Besides the culture shock, I am redefining what independence and respect mean to me in this new environment. I’ve been accustomed to never walking alone in the street and being scared of cutting my emotional and physical dependence on my friends and family in Puerto Rico. Since living alone, it feels less daunting to walk alone and cultivate bigger roots for independence. I would be disingenuous if I stated that all these fears were erased, but now I’ve found new ways to deal with such worries. I question myself constantly: How can I assert my power and strength as a woman in a country I’ve only just begun to understand?
I do feel highly appreciated as an individual that might stand out, especially when it comes to speaking out in classes. It is curious to come to terms with how culture outweighs the fact that I speak the same language, since it doesn’t necessarily mean I will be understood. I have to choose between changing the way I say my last name or accept that it’s written incorrectly. I have to accept that my artistic and academic point of view is alien to most of the professors and students here. Adaptation and assimilation to a certain extent is inevitable. In spite of that, I embrace this wholeheartedly and learn everything I can; artistic input from different countries should never be wasted.
Photo near the Royal Palace by me
In conversations with other latina women living abroad here in Spain, there is a peculiar way in which a lot of men view us as “exotic” (there are many movies in which this idea is presented) which creates an unsettling feeling. However, I’ve met so many wonderful people that embrace those who are from a different country in a polite way. In my classes and social gatherings, I’ve talked to many young women and we bond over many of our experiences; learning a lot about how interpersonal relationships function here too. I can observe people in my morning walks, go to a local coffee shop and wait for my order; watching those people’s reactions to life and how they are accustomed to their culture. Many women share the same experience of a study abroad program and we’ve really understood each other for sure! Close friends are always attentive to make sure that I’m okay and I do the same for them. I’m excited to keep learning and studying during these next few months. Through this experience, I’m grasping how people relate with each other and how a community is shaped.
Photo sunset in Madrid by me