The opinions expressed in this article are the writer’s own and do not reflect the views of Her Campus.
I’ve been there. Bound to idealistic expectations about what that four letter word means and what it represents. They say all we need is love. But, in reality, we need a whole lot more than that. They say love can withstand anything. But how much do you need to put up with for the sake of love? Is it worth it? How much are you willing to sacrifice?
Not too long ago, I beat myself up. Again and again. Did I try hard enough? Did I give up too soon? Was the love not powerful enough? Was it about the distance or about our differing priorities? Did I make the right choice? Why couldn’t I solve our relationship problems with love?
As the product of a failed marital relationship, I think that I was in love with the idea of eternal love; one I did not witness as I grew. I’m talking about a certain kind of love that knows nothing about separation or incompatibility. And that false expectation about a never ending love made me doubt myself a lot.
But I’m done. I decided that I’m not putting up with that bullshit anymore. Ending a relationship isn’t the worst thing that can happen; staying in an unhappy one truly is. I learned the hard way that having a partner transcends emotional affection, regardless of how much you love the love of your life.
So, let’s break it down. In all of its forms, love is dependent upon trust, honesty, happiness and respect. That is, no relationship can survive solely on love. And it shouldn’t. And if you think it does, maybe you should reevaluate yourself and your perceptions surrounding relationships.
Love requires hard work, tough conversations and compromise. And that doesn’t sound sexy at all. It is a combination of reciprocity, intimacy and passion. There is power in recognizing that love entails more than just the pretty moments. Although the heart-stopping joy that runs through the body when you’re with that special someone is amazing, it cannot blind you from realizing that euphoric feelings are but a tiny part within a relationship. I’m sorry to say that relationships are challenging and that love cannot conquer all.
So, stop fantasizing about romantic love as the primary goal in a relationship. It is not always the answer. Listen to me. You will find someone. And maybe that someone is you. Maybe all you really needed was a moment to realize that love will never be enough. The power of love shouldn’t be your only driving force. You deserve more than that. And you should know it without hesitation. Whatever will be, will be.