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I feel the need to preface this by saying that I’m not 20 years old yet. At the time of writing this, I’m exactly three months away from concluding my teenage years. My teens have been abnormal to say the least, much like most of Gen Z. In Puerto Rico, my generation had our teenage experience affected by earthquakes, hurricanes, and, of course, COVID-19. Teenagehood was never going to be normal. I was prepared for the emotional whirlwind, the stress of school, the highs and lows of teenage love, and everything in between. In spite of all the challenges, I was privileged enough to experience all of these things. Nevertheless, the pandemic changed all of us, especially teenage girls. I felt robbed of the “best years of my life.” 20 always felt so far away, grown up, and scary.
Like most personal debates and quarrels I have within my own mind, I chose to turn to the most loyal people that I have met; those that are immortalized on paper and will never turn their backs on me. For most of my life, books have been an outlet for experiences both good and bad. Books are like people: funny, smart, witty, earth-shattering, ironic, weird, inspiring, and so much more. My safe space has always been books, so I have created a compilation of books to read before or during your 20s that will hopefully help you calm your worries and tackle the next decade as best as you can. (And eventually freak out at 29 about turning 30). This article is focused on those books that have helped me change my perspective on the aforementioned terror that is my 20s.
- Girl, Stop Apologizing: A Shame-Free Plan for Embracing and Achieving Your Goals by Rachel Hollis
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This book encourages women to confidently pursue their ambitions without feeling guilty or apologetic. It helped me feel more comfortable expressing my opinion in classroom discussions and even outside of academic environments. While reading this, I found practical and easy to follow advice for setting and achieving goals. In the book, Hollis addresses the societal pressures and expectations often placed on women; like how they must be perfect, accommodating, and not too ambitious, for example. Understanding that we are allowed to make mistakes while being ambitious, are crucial dilemmas to overcome for both personal and professional growth. Plus, she shares firsthand experiences that are motivating and reassuring. My favorite lesson from this book has been learning about establishing a good work-life balance. Not subjecting myself to being a complete robot, whilst still aspiring for more in my private life and career, allows me to recognize that it isn’t too much to ask for to be happy in all aspects of life.
- Atlas of the Heart: Mapping Meaningful Connection and the Language of Human Experience By Brené Brown
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Women in their 20s are often at a stage of life characterized by personal growth, self discovery, relationships, transitions, and more. Brené Brown does a wonderful job of helping people come to terms with their own experiences and emotions, while building self-awareness. These insights can be used as a guide in forming healthy and long lasting relationships, developing emotional intelligence, and navigating the transition from college to work life. Some of the other focuses of this book are vulnerability and resilience. Atlas of the Heart showed me how to strengthen the latter by learning to become more adaptable to change in order to tackle any challenge or setback I may encounter. Brown also offers insight into how young women can navigate office dynamics, leadership, teamwork, and efficient communication.
- The Book Thief by Markus Zusak
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This recommendation might seem strange since most of us had to read this at some point in school, and if you haven’t read it yet, I believe The Book Thief is incredibly relevant to women in their 20s. The story showcases a resilient young girl whose hope for the world is fueled by her love for books, despite the state she finds herself in.This book challenges readers to evaluate morality in the face of adversity and presents ambiguous characters, purposely never drawing a line between good and evil. I remember reading it at 13 and not really paying attention to the ethical nuances and demonstrations of the human capacity for kindness and evil. Now at 19, these are themes I have grown to appreciate. For most of you, this will probably be a reread, but I recommend it nonetheless. Additionally, I would encourage you to revisit books from middle or high school because I can 99% guarantee they will be more enjoyable and impactful than you previously thought.
- Atomic Habits by James Clear
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Just like the title suggests, this book provides guidance in building effective habits. It offers practical advice on how to form good habits and how to break bad ones. For women about to start or are already in their 20s, we are now beginning to establish our lifestyles and routines. Some of which will inevitably impact our futures. These habits will help women in all aspects of their life because they foster productivity, better health, and overall well-being. Understanding how to form these habits will give young women a significant advantage, which is necessary in demanding and competitive workplaces. What I like the most about this book is the fact that the habits are “atomic,” meaning that they work in small incremental steps instead of unreasonable leaps. The most valuable habits I have built have been improving my time management, enhancing my self-discipline, and becoming better at adapting.
- How to Love by Thich Nhat Hanh
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How to Love by Thich Nhat Hanh is one of my favorite self-help or how-to books I have read because, while those I have mentioned previously assist you through actions, this one more so helps in healing emotionally. I find it imperative for women in their 20s, or those about to be 20, to find their definition of love. This book teaches the reader to understand what it means to truly love and be loved, as it leads to healthier and more meaningful relationships. The most important part of this book to me was learning about self-love and self-compassion. Of course I had heard of these terms and ideas before, but this book was the first time I truly understood what steps to take to obtain these qualities and how to be patient and caring with myself as well as those around me. Nhat Hanh is renowned for his teachings on mindfulness and this book is actually the third establishment of his Mindfulness Essentials series. The benefits of mindfulness are endless, but, specifically for women in their 20s, this practice can be beneficial in managing stress, anxiety, and the pressures of any aspect of life.
As a 19-year-old, turning 20 still sounds a bit scary but, after reading these books, it feels less daunting. Books have always been a safe haven for many throughout history, so I encourage you to not only read these books, but whatever book you find that calls out to you. For this list, I wanted to include examples of specific self-help books, but I truly believe any book can be helpful. Even if it doesn’t add any value to your professional and/or personal life, books can be useful or enjoyable no matter what the subject or story is. Even falling in love or absolutely loathing characters can be very therapeutic.