As I am in my second year of college, I have had an entire year to experience FOMO. The reason for this is that, as much as I appreciate the opportunity to even attend college (I am aware many around the world, especially women don’t), I still struggle to be content.
My whole life, I knew what and where I wanted to study and what I wanted to do with my life. By ten years old, everybody knew Ariana Villanueva was going to be a lawyer and then a politician, (controversial, I know) but living in Puerto Rico, it is something I cannot escape. I was going to major in political science in DC, have a year abroad in Spain, graduate, go to Harvard Law School, help people as an immigration lawyer, and finally help my small island as a politician. Problem is, ten-year-old me did not consider that, even with scholarships, grants, and loans, $20,000 a year was too much for her family to cover.
So, I had to settle and go to university 20 minutes away from home, when I wanted to be 5 hours away. Spend the first year of college taking the same classes I took in high school, with a different name. Witnessing my friends live independently, while I still lived with my mom, who while no doubt is the best, is still my mom, not my roommate. The FOMO nearly stopped me from making friends and enjoying the college experience I got “stuck with.”
Like a true Gen-Zer, I didn’t ask my therapist, a trusted adult, or even my friends how to deal with the unbearable feeling of unfairness, I asked the internet, why if I got good grades, wrote amazing (not my words) essays, had great (again not my own feedback) interviews, I couldn’t live my dreams? Spoiler: not even AI could answer my emotional trainwreck. When I could not find a logical answer, I looked for the next best thing, coping mechanisms. I don’t want to go into detail, but I do want to share what helped me so that someone else who feels like what is frustrating them has no solution, can at the very least cope.
First thing my bestie Google said was to change my focus. Instead of fixating on what I could not have, retrospect on what I did. And, to that avail, tip number two, was to focus on gratitude. Think not only about what I had, but also reflect on the millions of people around the world who would consider themselves lucky to have what I do. Personal tip, look beyond materialistic things, direct your energy to family, friends, health, etc.. As with most things now, despite how much we want to prove our parents wrong, a digital detox will also help tremendously. This being because we have fallen comfortably into the tradition that we no longer tell each other most things, instead we post it and assume everybody knows. Finally, the thing that helped me the most was journaling. I felt too cowardly and like an ungrateful brat to tell anybody how I felt, so I told myself in a notebook. The reason this has been the most helpful is because a year later, I can read what I once thought, and be happy and proud of how my perspective has changed, and finally be grateful and confident that I am right where I should be.
A year later, I am not only grateful, but so glad that I stayed. I have met some amazing people and have learned so much, inside and outside of the classroom. Having immersed myself in the campus, I have started to really enjoy my academic experience and campus life. Having been able to explore my options with the support of my safety net has led me to question everything. Today, I can confidently say I have absolutely no idea when or what degree I will be graduating with. However, the endless possibilities I had failed to see, because it was home, have made for me to be the happiest I have ever been, academically and socially. I am no longer terrified of not knowing EXACTLY what I will be doing with my life.