There comes a time when you want to write something for yourself but still want to publish it for others to read. This is one of those times.
I hope years from now you come back and read this. I hope you read this, so you realize how far you have come, and you recognize all of your accomplishments. If you read this, I hope you’re in a better mental headspace living your life for yourself and your happiness. By now you have probably graduated college. Perhaps you have even finished your Masters and if you haven’t, that’s totally fine. I don’t know what path I’m going to take, but I know it’s going to be the one that makes me the happiest.
I really do hope you’re genuinely happy and doing the things that bring you joy. I picture my future-self working on her writing skills and having a photography business all while enjoying coffee. Who knows, maybe you’ve picked up a few new skills. You have come such a long way and I’m so proud of your growth throughout these past few years. Two years ago, you embarked on a new journey and you didn’t know where it was going to take you, but it turned out to be one of the best journeys of your life. You grew so much mentally and emotionally. You made lifelong friends through the process. Unfortunately, you also went through a rough breakup. You didn’t even know how much that breakup was going to help you grow. At the time, you were stagnant, you weren’t growing because that relationship was stopping you from really spreading your wings and flying. After that, you learned what love was and what it wasn’t. You knew what you wanted in terms of a healthy relationship and you got it. You entered a relationship that was healthy, exciting, motivating, and fun. The most important thing though was how you were still your own person and you didn’t base your happiness off of someone else. I hope that relationship continued to thrive.
Currently, we are going through a pandemic and I have been at home for two months now. My mind has been struggling due to the lack of real-life human interaction (FaceTime just doesn’t do it for me). There have been some dark nights where my mind just wanders too deep into my thoughts, and I catch myself having another mental breakdown. Luckily, I have learned how to cope with that, and I have an amazing support system who helps me get through those nights. It seems like things aren’t going to get better, but I have hope that with time it will – it always does. What keeps me going when I have my low days is knowing that one day, I will have accomplished everything I set out to achieve.
I like to hope that one day I will be so happy that I barely remember what depression is. That journey may be even longer, but it will be extremely rewarding. I used to want to be so happy that I forgot all the struggles I faced in life, but then I remembered that those struggles got me to where I am now. Those hardships helped bring the happiness I have now. They helped me heal. I think that is so beautiful.
Future self, I hope you continue growing as a writer. Please don’t give up on it because I know there are people out there who need to hear what you have to say. Continue being that voice for others not just for them, but for yourself. You are loved and you are important, don’t forget that ever.