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Relationship Advice from My College Professor

Yes, I’ll admit it.  The title was for clickbait. However, I’m not lying. Last year, I took a class called Intimate Families and Relationships. I anticipated it as being a boring class; it was mandatory for my major. However, this class quickly became like a therapy session for me. It was discussion-based, and during the peak of the pandemic, it felt like such a safe space. That woman had a wealth of wisdom. She once said, “if you can but a boy’s genitals in your mouth, he can at least give you a phone call.” A true genius. Anyways, I digress.

I know I’ve been dragging my feet. So, here’s the advice:

“The longest relationship that you’ll ever have is with yourself.”

Boom. Mind blown.

Seriously, think about it. Siblings, significant others, friends? Nope. You will be the only one that’s with you through and through until the end. Now, I understand that this sounds like common sense. However, in my experience, it’s not always that simple. Many of us are people that put the needs of others before our own, or take into consideration what other people are going to think before we act. I’ll admit it, I am one of these people. However, since I sat in class and heard those words, I know that I’ve changed. 

Over the past year, I have actively made an effort to put myself first. In the past, when I’ve thought about things like self-care, and prioritizing my own needs before the needs of others, I thought it was selfish. I often found myself doing things like choosing my outfits, my Instagram posts, even shifting my personality based on what I thought other people would enjoy.  But then I had to ask myself, why? If I’m not living for myself, making decisions for me, then what’s the point? Who am I trying to impress here?

I’ve started to use a new jumping off point to gauge the importance of things in my life. Is it going to matter in 10 years? When I’m settled in my career, living my life, am I going to look back and think about what people I was trying to impress, or am I going to think about whether or not I was happy? It’s going to be the latter. Self-care is not selfish. This is a process, and still something that I am learning. But, if you’re not happy with where your life is, make a change. Call it relationship advice.

Hi! I'm Hannah, and I'm a junior in Her Campus at UNH! So excited to share my thoughts with everyone and live my blogger dreams :)
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