A Letter To College Freshmen Dorming with Strangers
Being an incoming freshman is one of the most anxiety (and excitement!) filled times in a young adult’s life. From worrying about classes to new friendships, you fear the worst when it comes to everything. Coming to UNH, my best friend and I decided that we didn’t want to live together during our first year in an effort to branch out and meet more people. So, I filled out the housing application for a random roommate. I was convinced that I wanted to live in a small building with one random roommate and that everything would work out just like that. Boy, was I wrong. I was at work over the summer when I got the notification that room assignments were available and ignoring the knot in my stomach, I opened it up.
When I found out I was living in the largest residence hall on campus in a triple room, my heart sank. I had heard some not-so-great things about the building and of course, I thought that living in a triple meant that I would have no space to myself. For the rest of the summer I avoided even thinking about my soon-to-be living situation and complained to all of my friends about how unlucky I was. I was heartbroken to think that the fantasy I had created about my first college dorm and roommate had shattered with one email.
Then, I found both of my roommates on Facebook and Instagram and we made a group chat right away. We talked a little bit about what we wanted to study and where we lived, but beyond that, I really didn’t learn much about either of them until I came to school. I remember being terrified that I would get stuck in the top bunk and I talked for weeks about how awful my first year would be. A little pessimistic, I know. When Maria moved in a week early as part of a school program, she sent us a short video of the room. None of the beds were stacked and there was so much room! I swear, I nearly cried because I had built up so much anxiety about sharing space with two complete strangers.
Finally, the day came, and I moved all of my stuff into our room. It was extremely hot that day and I got really irritated trying to put the sheets on my fully lofted bed, a struggle I’m sure many college students can relate to. Neither of them was there when I originally moved in, so I had time to say goodbye to my family (so sad) and start to really unpack. Eventually, Emilee arrived, and her mom helped her move her stuff in. I tried to be as polite as possible and stay out of the way. That night, the three of us finally got to sit down and talk face to face, a prospect that had twisted my stomach up for weeks. Sure, it was awkward, and I think each of us was a little uncomfortable with the idea of sleeping in a room with a couple of girls that didn’t seem like we had much in common with.
Now, as I write about them months later, we are sitting in our room, listening to music, twinkly lights on, and I feel safe and happy. Regardless of how scared I was coming to school and making such a huge change, I knew I wanted to make the best of the whole experience. I’m so thankful that I have been given the best roommates I could have hoped for. I’ve heard horror stories about roommates that fight or can’t agree on how to share a space, but I get to tell people all about my funny roommates that made me walk with them to the bathroom after we watched “Scream” together. Long nights spent sharing what songs make us think about summer, our families, and bananas, and bargaining with each other just to get mozzarella sticks at 10 p.m. are some of my fondest memories from my first year in college.
For all of the prospective students that are as terrified as I was to live with a stranger, don’t let others’ experiences scare you. If you keep an open mind and are willing to make small sacrifices to make a situation work, you can have a truly enjoyable experience living with strangers. After a month, they can become some of your best friends, and after a year, they can become your family.
P.S. – To Emilee and Maria, thank you for making dorm life so easy and thank you for enhancing my college experience in such an amazing way. I love you.