To my freshman who needs to know they will be okay, this message is intended for you. As you enter week eight of your first year of college, you are most likely experiencing an overwhelming rush of emotions as the school year is officially in full swing. You’re stressed, homesick, mentally exhausted, and may or may not be hungover. Regardless of how you’re feeling, I need you to know that I was you and that even if it doesn’t feel like it, someone else–someone older–gets it.
When you enter this thrilling, incredible, but slightly horrifying realm that is college, you truly have no idea what to expect. Sure, you can read every article known to man about the “11 Freshmen Mistakes to Avoid” or “5 Ways to Kill Your First Year”; but the truth is, none of it will fully prepare you, nor should it. As you’ve already noticed, these first two months have been an experience like no other. You’ve most likely made a really bad drinking decision or have gone home with somebody you absolutely regretted, or maybe you haven’t even left your dorm room on a Saturday night because your social anxiety was so out of control that all you could do was use your bed as a protective shield. But as crazy as it seems, these are all learning experiences and small mistakes that are working to prepare you for the greatness that lies ahead.
At this point, you are in a steady routine and can finally make it to your destination on campus without walking in circles. But what about your mental health? Or your emotional well-being? Where is all the information on that? I have decided to be completely vulnerable with you because there are some things I feel in my heart that you need to hear. My third week into college, I made an appointment with my school’s counselor. The kindhearted older man who sat across from me could do nothing but tilt his head and listen as he watched me collapse into the once little girl who would cry hysterically as soon as Mom was out of sight. All he had to say was, “What brings you in here today?” and I was surrounded by the puddle of tears that my eyes had been hiding. The purpose in me telling you this is that you know it’s okay not to be okay sometimes–in fact, it’s absolutely normal–and what makes your emotional conflict heal like no other is a good ol’ cry session with someone who gets paid to listen to you breakdown.
One of the hardest things I remember was seeing everyone on campus and believing that they had it all together. The friend group, the SO, and a confidence that I lacked entirely. But as I’ve entered my sophomore year, I continue to learn each day that none of us have it together–not even the seniors. Simply put, we are all doing the best we can and success means something entirley different for every single student on campus. Do me a favor: stop comparing and just keep on keeping on.
Whoever you are, I want to reach out and let you know that you will be okay. Everything about your first year is temporary; soon enough, you will be moving out of your dorm and into an apartment. Before you know it, the class you dreaded will be done and over with and the weight pressing down on your shoulders will disappear. And whether you want to admit it or not, you will never have a year as special as this one. It’s true what they say about a first experience–you never forget it. So do me a favor: take a deep breath and close your eyes. Remind yourself of all the work you put in to be where you are right now. Now open your eyes. You are exactly where you’re supposed to be.
Photo courtesy of favim.com.