It’s Black History Month, and, among celebrating African American culture and our contributions to the world, I want to bring attention to the way black women are often treated in society.
To put it bluntly, black women have to deal with a lot of unnecessary interactions bordering from ignorant to just plain racist. Having to deal with racism and sexism along with other issues is mentally taxing; it doesn’t help when people casually say racist and sexist things to us, either.
As a black woman who wants to cut down on this nonsense, I’m here to give you a short (and by no means comprehensive) list of things you should never, ever say to black women.
- “Can I Touch Your Hair?”
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No. The answer is always no. And, if you’re already touching my hair, then why ask? This is a polite way of saying “I’m going to do this racist thing but ask you, so I look polite.” This article explains it better, but the easy answer will always be no.
- “You’re Pretty for a Black Girl”
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This is just blatantly racist. How about “you’re pretty” or, better yet, compliment women on their personal traits over their physical ones?
- “I Love Black Women!”
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On the surface, this doesn’t look too bad, but it’s usually phrased in a way that implies not liking black women is the norm. And, if you’re going to say this, do you ever say, “I love white women?”
- “I Don’t Date Black Women”
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This is just as bad as #3. What is it about my race/skin tone/etc. that bothers you so much? How would you feel if I said, “I don’t date white people?”
- “Can You Show Me How to Twerk/Dance?”
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I don’t even know how to twerk! And I can tell you that I’ve seen people of other races twerk, so it’s not tied to race.
Most of this is obviously offensive, but black women still have to deal with a lot of these issues in society. There’s no definitive list of everything that’s offensive to say. But, just to be safe, don’t say this to anyone. Get to know people. Treat them with respect. That’s all we ask for.