Self -Love…..
A word or phrase that I have heard all my life, but never really understood the big deal about, until I arrived at college….
College brought along a lot stuff like School Work. BOYS. and a Social Life.
I started to realize as I got caught up in the world of college, dating, parties, homecoming, and all the other factors that make college a blur… I was losing myself in all of it. I started doubting my worth as a person…doubting my worth as me.
Am I smart enough?
Am I pretty enough?
Do people see me as someone they want to be around?
How to do I compare to the next girl beside me? My classmate beside me?
So many questions began to swarm in my mind day by day, and it almost took me out. Fortunately, before it was too late to pull myself out of the sea of drowning doubt, I came to a realization. My Self-Love tank was way low…
It was hard to come to the conclusion that maybe I didn’t love myself or even believe in myself as much as I thought I did. It hurt to know that this strong girl that everyone sees on the outside, may not be as strong on the inside. It made me reevaluate what I considered self-love and how I practiced it. Some harsh realities I had to face were:
1. I could not compare myself to my friends, family, or classmates.
It’s easy to compare yourself with others by seeing how much they have versus you, who they are dating versus who you are not, what they are accomplishing versus what you are procrastinating on, and every other aspect of their lives. The harder task is staying focused on your own accomplishments and life. You have to realize that sometimes you will win and sometimes you will lose, but it is all a part of the beauty of your life. You will lose the beauty if you constantly compare your painting to others.
2. Love starts with me.
I had to learn that I could not simply say I love myself, but I had to truly define what it was about myself that made me great, so that I could appreciate myself more! Whether it be my ability to speak loud effortlessly, the fact that I can eat sweets all day and never crash, or that I can crunch out a 5- page paper in 3 hours… all these small details make me the amazing woman that I am. I had to learn to appreciate every part of my being, whether physical, emotional, or psychological, so that I can see myself as a winner, and not a runner-up.
3. Sometimes the road is bumpy.
Lastly, I had to realize that no matter how “Super-Me” I become, I will have some days when I don’t feel so super. There will be some days that I won’t feel the prettiest, or the smartest, or the most ambitious. Since I know that these days will come, I have to be ready to fight them off with all of my might. I have to be ready to remind myself that even if someone is better than me, they can never do what I do exactly… and that makes me unique…that makes me irreplaceable.
So, I hope when you have days when you are not feeling all Wonder Woman… you remember my journey and you find the “super” in you once more.