It has been a solid two years ever since I started to go to therapy. I was overwhelmed with school, had a lot going on in my personal life and just felt like I needed an outlet to let my emotions out. I visited the UMKC Counselling Center and honestly thought I would be done and feel “all better” after one session. However, there was a lot of unpacking to do, which meant that therapy sessions were incorporated into my schedule every now and then.
I will admit, I was initially apprehensive about the idea of therapy. I grew up in a culture where mental health was heavily stigmatized and was even initially told by multiple people to not see a therapist. However, I knew I had to make a decision for myself, by myself and continued to see one.
Some of the things I’ve learned through therapy include parent-child dynamics, managing my anxiety and understanding my worth. Understanding my worth was a huge driving factor in what made my therapy sessions so fruitful. I realized in these sessions that I was settling for less than what I deserved, whether that was in friendships, relationships or even academics. I had watched people in my life mimic settling patterns from a young age and therefore, viewed it as ideal. Identifying this was a huge step in breaking the cycle of settling for less than what I deserve.
Therapy is a place where I accept the idea that I am trying to figure out my life, which means mistakes every now and then might be inevitable. There have been times I’ve slipped and let someone treat me in a way that was not up to my standards. I’ve even almost dropped out of a class just because someone said I wouldn’t be able to make it through (I ended up doing really well). I’ve given myself grace in these situations and understood my moments of relapse have simply brought me closer to understanding my true self-worth.
However, these insights did not just magically come to me because of my therapist. Both parties have to be very interactive for therapy to work, and the more effort you put into it, the more you will get out of it. You have to be willing to put in the work and effort to better yourself intentionally to see results. Also, finding the right therapist is a task in itself. You are finding a person who will uncover your core traumas and help you work on them, and it is therefore important to ensure you vibe well with your therapist. If you don’t, it is okay to try different therapists until you find one who’s the right fit for you.
As for me personally, I am very thankful to have found a therapist who has been patient with me on my mental health journey. I’ve learned so much over the course of two short years and my therapist has definitely been a huge help when it came to learning how to set boundaries, identifying triggers and grow as a person.
If you’re interested in finding a therapist, the UMKC counselling center does a screening the very first time you sign up for an appointment before determining the next course of action. If you need help, the UMKC Counselling Services’ contact information can be found here.