A Week of Lasts as an Undergrad

Everybody has a story of firsts and the good old college days, but nobody ever tells you about the lasts -- the last days as an undergrad.

 

Lasts are not told, I think, in the fear of the future. Mine is wide open, full of possibilities and fears.

 

None of us really feel the weight of everything changing until everything does start to change. That final presentation turns to the last and that class becomes your final one.

 

Now, my last full week of classes was not as profound as others would have you believe on social media -- It was a hot mess of feelings spanning from tears on the way home, panicking about my future and then excitement that I do not have to think about Plum Organics anymore.

 

My week started with freak-outs and insecurities on what life will be like after I walk at commencement. It finally progressed to me stopping for once and taking in all the change.

 

Life will never be like this for me anymore.

 

I have looked forward to these lasts for so long that they never felt real until last week as I was driving away from my internship.

I will not have classes to fall back on in a few months.

 

I feel like I have outgrown campus, but I am also not ready to fly out of the nest.

 

I am not really great with change, I never have been and I never will be.

 

These past four years have been nothing but change, but also a constant routine. Life is scary and not knowing the road I am taking frightens me.

 

Any now-seniors, your last few weeks as an undergrad are full of weird transitions and realizations.

 

Everybody goes through it, but nobody talks about it.

 

Reminisce about the blur of freshmen year. Look back at how campus has grown with you.

 

We can always look back, but we can never actually go back.