In a week, my older brother is moving halfway across the globe for a job opportunity and I’m not sure how to cope with the situation because I’m not the best at goodbyes. Hugs usually end in teary hiccups and a heart full of fear. Fear of how I’ll be able to continue my life without him, fear of who I’ll turn to when I’m in need, whether it be in need of chocolate or in need of a night-long talk in his room. At the same time, there’s a fear of if he will be okay, because I know that getting adjusted to a new place is not easy, no matter where it is. Will he be able to withstand everything that will be thrown at him?
The fact of the matter is meeting a person for the first time is a lot easier than saying goodbye for a long-term time, especially when you have grown accustomed to having the person in your daily life. It is kind of difficult just not seeing them anymore all of a sudden. I’ve had to go through a lot of goodbyes in my life and it does not get any easier, no matter the number of times I give my last hug for another few years or cry the last tear in memory of another.
Nevertheless, when you realize that letting go is the only way to see them fly, you find yourself with mixed feelings about being happy that they’re creating a new life for themselves, yet you realize that there’s going to be a void in your life from the moment they walk through the security line at the airport. It’s the hurting heart that isn’t able to be expressed any other way, it is a sharp pain deep inside your heart that does not seem to go away as easily as it entered. Learning to let someone go, to say goodbye isn’t easy at all and it takes a lot of love for the person. Their happiness should be your happiness, it should lead you to believe that they are going to be alright, that you are going to be alright as long as you know they are happy.
It’s important to realize that life is all about letting in and letting go, people come and go in life, and neither process is ever easy or it might be easier for some than for others, it simply takes time to acknowledge your feelings. Think and talk of all the wonderful memories, spend your last few moments together and live in the present. Yes, he might be living next week, but I’m still taking full advantage of the time that he’s spending here and I’m embracing our last few moments of living together. Even though my mind always seems to stray to next week’s trip to the airport, I don’t let it. I’m still working on acknowledging and accepting the fact that he is leaving and I have cried here and there, but that is the art of letting someone go.
“Nothing makes the earth seem so spacious as to have friends at a distance; they make the latitudes and longitudes.” – Henry David Thoreau