It’s never easy letting go of something or someone. When I say something, I mean grudges you may have against someone or an object that you treasure, even an addiction. I know I don’t have to explain the person part because I think all of us have been in that situation. I know it seems easy for me to tell you to let go of that person or thing, but I know where you’re coming from. I know that it’s hard, but I know it’s worse if you keep holding on.
The question going through your mind is “how can I let go if I still care?” When you let go, it doesn’t mean that you have to stop caring. You can still care, but it shouldn’t consume you. If there’s a significant other or friend, it’s going to take time. It’s hard for us to see if someone is toxic for us, which makes it harder to let go. I’ve been in this situation twice. The first was with one of my ex best friends. Our friendship ended because we changed. We weren’t the same little girls that met in grade school. We wanted different things in life, but it was hard for us to see that we changed. If you were friends with someone for almost 11 years, then you can see how hard it was to call it quits. I kept fighting for the friendship and to make it work because I couldn’t say goodbye to my childhood best friend. In my head, I just assumed it was a rough patch because what friends haven’t gotten into fights before. I was wrong because there was the major fight that blew it out of the water. I realized that she wasn’t my best friend anymore and that our friendship was toxic. I’m not going to sit here and tell you it was all flowers and rainbows when I ended the friendship because it was heartbreaking and I ugly cried like Kim Kardashian. It took me a bit to be okay with everything, but I had my friends to support me.
The second situation was with my ex. This was one that I didn’t realize was toxic until I broke up with him. We were the on and off couple, since we dated freshman year of high school. We broke up and didn’t date again until our senior year. We were the typical rom-com movie, where the best friends realize that they want to be more than friends and end up dating, However, ours was not a happy ending. We broke up during the summer before I went off to college. I didn’t believe in a long distance relationship, but I also needed time to find myself in college. Those weren’t the only reasons for the break up. I didn’t want to be the constant motivator for him. He needed to want things for himself and not for me. I wasn’t going to feel guilty for wanting things for myself and to grow as a person and to not be on a constant guilt trip. It was a toxic relationship that we, more so I, needed to walk away from. I’m not saying it was an easy break up because no break ups are easy. Words were said and tears were shed, but it was for the best in the end for the both of us.
I can honestly say that when I finally let go, I felt at peace with myself. When you choose to let go, it’s going to be tough and hard, but in the end it will be worth it. There’s no need to hold on to something that is toxic or bringing you down. You owe it to yourself to let go and move on. If I choose to hold on, then I probably wouldn’t be the person that I am now. Do it for yourself because you know that you deserve better and have so much potential to grow as a person.