When I turned 20 years old, I thought by now I would have a huge group of friends, a boyfriend, and a dream job in social media, but obviously that is not the case right now, and that is okay. I’ll be completely honest, that’s fine. I am protecting my peace over having people in my life that create unnecessary stress and drama. It’s hard meeting genuine people in the society we have now with social media, because so many people just want to use you. Obviously growing and uplifting your friends is fine, but stop overplaying your role if it’s not reciprocated. There were times when I tried to look over weird energy just because I cared about the people in my life, but not everyone deserves my energy nor my friendship, and that’s okay. I have realized friends and boyfriends will come eventually when they are meant to, and I will have to let that happen naturally, as I am more likely to meet them in person at cafes, parks, gyms, or while doing hobbies I enjoy.
In your 20s, you’re going to have to learn that you are not going to be everybody’s cup of tea, and that’s okay. Not everybody is for you. Stop over explaining yourself. When you give more energy than you receive, or simply realize that a person does not consider you the way you consider them, it is okay to step back. Your 20s are about giving yourself permission to live in the moment. Implementing boundaries is important, especially if you are an empathic person, so you don’t always have to pick up the phone or say yes to everything. Being the person who is always there for others is not what being a good friend is when it is not reciprocated. I promise, you are not being a bad friend, you are just creating space and choosing yourself sometimes.
The friend group you had at 18, 19, 20, 21, and beyond is not going to look the same, because that is what adulthood is all about, learning and meeting different people in different phases of your life. There will be consistent people through all of that, but do not freak out if you do not have this huge friend group everyone talked about when you were in college. In your 20s, you are going to lose yourself a little bit because you are exploring different sides of your life. Especially during adulthood, you are going to make mistakes and choose the wrong people until the right people come into your life at the time they are supposed to, whether that is friends or boyfriends.
In your 20s, you are going to feel like you are behind because everyone else is getting jobs and living on their own, and that is okay. If you are not in the same place as everyone else, that is fine, because everybody starts their life at different times. Take your time and do what you need to do, and do what is best for you, not what you think you should be doing because that is what everyone else is doing. You have to let things happen and stop thinking good things cannot happen to you when you are genuinely blessed. Not having everything figured out right now is fine, because you are young and can do anything and figure yourself out. Never speak negativity into your life or limit yourself by listening to others’ negative mindsets or projections. These are meant to be the best years of your life, whether that means traveling to make memories or becoming anything you want without having a clue of what you are doing. You should not waste these years worrying about losing friends when you can gain new ones. Enjoy your 20s and give yourself the gift of right now, so do not put too much pressure on yourself to be somewhere you think you should be, because you are exactly where you are supposed to be in life.
Thanks for reading,
Sarai Hernandez
Her Campus at UIC, Editorial and Social Media Team