Guys can be extremely hard to read. Many of us are quite stoic, so we can be incredibly difficult to understand emotionally. Sometimes it’s impossible to know what we’re thinking.
I know these things about guys, because, I’ll confess: I am one. And because we can be barely decipherable to women, I have some simple facts that will definitely help any one of them navigate the male psyche. Whether it’s a friend, mild crush, long-term boyfriend, or even a relative, these following points will help you understand and improve relationships with the important men in your life.
1. Some of Us Like Your Opinions
And if you’re with someone who doesn’t, kick him to the curb. He’s not worth your time. But for the others, truth be told, we usually need your input, because frankly, we’re not always that creative.
For a relationship example, if we ask you what you want to do for a date, don’t say you don’t know, because it really means that we have no ideas. It’s in fact, an offer for you to take advantage of the situation. In the best of circumstances, it’s also a wide-open invitation for your happiness, to pick whatever you want to do because we truly want to. Aside from providing one party’s happiness, it also might expose the other party to a new interest or experience. So go ahead and take the decision. If it’s not too pricey or “weird,” chances are we’ll go along with it.
2. A Reason We Don’t Like Talking About Feelings
You’ve all heard it before, guys deflecting deep emotional talk. It’s not that we don’t want to talk, most of the time it’s a societal condition regarding popular ideas of masculinity. In general, I’d say that we just don’t like conversing about our troubles, worries, or fears because it makes us feel weak. I know I wasn’t raised to be a blubbering basket case. But if the important man in your life is visibly troubled by something, and he doesn’t respond to direct questions, try this alternate strategy:
Ask around the bush, so to speak. Talk about unrelated things, and bring levity into the situation. Make him laugh. When we’re all tense and worried, that’s exactly when we don’t want to talk, so if you want to really help that special guy, you need to help him relax first. Then he’ll have a better chance of opening up. But feeling threatened, we get defensive or shut down.
3. We Like a Sparring Partner in Smartassery
Some of us do anyway, and those are always the more entertaining members of our gender, so they make good choices as companions. Practically all guys are great smartasses at varying levels. It’s one of our many mental defense mechanisms, and it’s the most fun! Have you ever just hung out with a bunch of guys and listened to us rag on each other constantly? It’s one of the best ways we entertain ourselves. And it gets even more hilarious when a clever woman comes along, dominates the game, and embarrasses one or multiple members of the group. This will ensure she’s immediately respected everyone, including the insulted.
This works equally well with monogamous relationships. Harmony and tranquility are nice, but in my opinion, they’re not fun. I’ve learned this factoid largely from observing my parents, a two people who’ve managed to stay together for nearly three decades. Between two people, tempered smartassery provides an amusing avenue for the truth when absolute seriousness might be too heavy and lead to nasty arguments. The same situation applies when it comes to talking about partners’ respective flaws or relationship problems, and in all situations clever female comments garner male respect. Also, smartassery is a mutually helpful tool to get through boring or annoying situations as a team; for example, financial meetings, family get-togethers, funerals, or wherever levity is essential.
4. If There’s an Innuendo, We’ll Decipher It
Finally, I’ll be totally honest here: if during general conversation a golden opportunity arises for a genitalia pun, or any other obscene word play, we’re gonna take it. In today’s world, it would be practically un-gentlemanly not to do so. Of course, there are certain circumstances were that’s forbidden, but wherever levity’s permitted, that’s just how we like to entertain ourselves. And going off item number three, some of us highly admire a quick-witted woman who can beat guys at their own game. It makes cohabitation of this earth so much more hilarious and fun for everyone.
So hopefully, these tips will prove helpful for you readers. As I see it, neither side of the biologic divide should have anything to hide. After all, we can neither live with each other, nor without each other, so it’s best to try getting along.
And perhaps you’ve noticed there’s a “Part 1” in the title; there’ll be more…