We all see the holidays and think of school breaks, traditions, and festivities, but for some people, the holidays can be particularly difficult. As college students, we often deal with tension at home, grief, or complicated family dynamics, which can cause us to be strained with family, especially during the holidays. It can be incredibly isolating to deal with these things, but you are not alone.
Understand your feelings
One of the most important things to do around this time of year is give yourself grace. Understand that it is completely okay to not be okay. If you feel a sense of sadness, guilt, or even relief surrounding choosing to spend time or not with family is okay and valid. This time of year is tough, and you shouldn’t use that as an excuse to be tougher on yourself. Use this time to slow down and be kind to yourself. If spending time with family doesn’t feel right, it is okay to stay on campus or with friends or other extended family. What is most important is that you do things that feel right for you.
build new traditions
One of my favorite things about the holidays is the traditions that can be done. There are many things that can be done solo or with a group of friends, and the most fun part is the aspect of trying new things. This year I recently saw The Nutcracker at The Houston Ballet, and I already plan on implementing this into my new Christmas traditions for years to come. Some other traditions you can begin can be as simple as just watching holiday movies with a cup of hot cocoa. Traditions do not have to be big to be meaningful, but they do have to be something that brings you joy during the holiday season.
staying connected to home in a healthy way
There are ways to stay connected to family, but the key is to implement any boundaries that may be needed. Staying connected can be as simple as a quick facetime call, or sending photos and voice notes to stay in touch. If you are not comfortable doing any of this, it is okay to use this time for any friends from home who you haven’t connected with in a while. If family is complicated, know that boundaries are okay. If you do not want to connect with family or old friends, you could also simply just enjoy an old family recipe that you loved growing up to connect with your home life. The holidays can be difficult but understand that your mental health is the most important thing.
let go of holidays pressure
If you see someone on social media having a picture-perfect holiday season, don’t allow it to get you down. In the age of social media, it can be so easy to see others highlight reels and feel as if we aren’t doing enough, but the holidays are not made for comparison. It is completely valid to have a quiet and chill holiday season, as long as you’re enjoying yourself. As I have mentioned before, giving yourself grace is most important, especially during a time where things can tend to feel more harder than they already are.
Being away from home or dealing with complicated family dynamics doesn’t make your holiday experience any less meaningful. You’re learning, growing, and building a life that reflects who you are. Give yourself grace and choose what brings you real peace this holiday season.