Growing up and living through your early 20s is probably the most complicated thing I have ever done my whole life. Of course, I’m living through that right now and you probably are too. There’s nothing I love more than having the opportunity to vent, rethink things, make lists, etc., to help me get through it. Who knows? Maybe it’ll make it a little easier for you too!
Daily Journaling
Call me Greg Heffley, but it’s not a diary. I have been journaling for about three or four years now and I have filled up about three different journals. I was 17 years old when I decided to try writing about my day for the first time. I felt ridiculous. The only things I had to write about were my boyfriend, my family, and how much I hated my AP Statistics class. But that’s okay. I didn’t need to have a crazy or interesting life to write everything down.
Over the years, my daily journaling turned into my personal therapy session. It gives me a space to work through my problems and just complain about the things that I’ve been struggling with. Therapy just simply isn’t enough for me sometimes, and I need a daily reflection. My life has changed drastically since I began doing this and it is just a great way to detox the mind and take a breather.
With that being said, it’s not supposed to be stressful. It doesn’t have to be every single day and you don’t always need to write 10 pages. When I first started, I was worried that my writing wasn’t worth it, or wasn’t good enough, because I wasn’t writing an entire novel. But then I realized that I was quite literally the only person that would ever read it (hopefully). I shouldn’t have all these high expectations for myself when it’s supposed to be relaxing and fun. So, don’t make this hobby a stressor in your life.
You don’t need an expensive journal to do this either. When you go shopping for a journal, you’ll see that some of them can be as much as $40. Now, if you want a leather-bound journal made with fancy paper and gilt edges, feel free to buy one. I use one like that now and I enjoy it just as much as the previous ones I’ve had. But, you don’t need one to journal every day. The first one I had was one that I found in my dad’s desk of random empty notebooks. It even had some pages torn out, but all I needed was the paper. You could even use that composition notebook that’s been sitting in your closet for the past four years because you filled up eight pages and then never opened it again. Paper is paper. Even then, you don’t even need paper. Go ahead and write it on your notes app or your laptop. Do what works for you!
Lists
I love a good list. This is such a simple thing and it has so many different formats and uses. Grocery shopping? List. Pros and cons of going to that concert? List. Have a bunch of assignments due for school and don’t know where to start? List. I even make a little list of things that I need to have with me when I leave and I put it on the door to my apartment. And to think, there’s so much more!
Lists aren’t something that’s just for organization and functionality. I make lists of random things that make me happy or things that go wrong throughout the day. Sometimes I make lists of all the people that make my days happier. I’ll make lists of all the things my friends say they like so I can use them later on for their birthday. No matter what it is, lists are just super helpful.
And these can even help other people too! If you’re moving in with some new roommates, just go ahead and make a spreadsheet to show who is bringing what. You can make a list of things that you might want for your birthday. Or a list of your allergies. Maybe a list of songs that you and your friends will play on your road trip to PCB this summer.
Letters
I will forever and always support writing letters. It can be to yourself, people you love, people you hate, or people you haven’t even met yet. 90% of the time, the letters I write never even get sent to the intentional reciprocate.
Writing letters is just such a great way to say the things you want to say to them without the confrontation part of it all. When I was a kid, I had a really hard time communicating with my family. It was mostly when I felt bad for fighting with my siblings or bringing home a bad grade. So, I’d go hide in my room and write my parents or my siblings a letter and slip it under their bedroom door. It’s not as direct as a conversation would have been, but it was what I did. And I still do that to this day.
As I said earlier, I rarely send the letters I write. Sometimes I feel like the things I’m stressing about aren’t worth the actual conversation. A lot of the time, I need to get all the little things off my chest in a way that won’t actually change anything. For example, my manager didn’t approve my time off request for my sister’s wedding. I’m writing a strongly worded email about the ethics of our company and how I might as well quit. But I won’t actually quit; I’m just upset and need to vent it all out before I send a more friendly response. You could even write out what you’re planning to say to a person before you actually talk to them.
Call me crazy, but I write letters to myself too. Sometimes I write letters to my older self, knowing that I’ll flip through the pages of my old journals and come across them. I’ll write love letters to myself too. Sometimes I feel insecure and ugly, but then I go and write all about the things I love about myself. I’ll tell myself how everything is going to be okay. I’ll write, “You got this!” Then, I feel so much better and ready to take on tomorrow and every other day to come. It gives me a chance to tell myself all the things I wish someone else would say to me sometimes.
The bottom line
Writing and journaling aren’t a guaranteed method to fix all of life’s problems, but they can certainly help. Just remember that there are no limits to what you can write about. There’s not a single expectation of you to do anything “the right way.” Growing up is hard, so just do what makes it all easier. You got this!
