In my freshman year of college, I went through a gloomy period where my eating habits were greatly influenced by the models and the fads that I would see all over Instagram. The freshman fifteen was something that I feared the most, and as a first year in college, this consequence was basically inevitable. I resulted to limiting what I ate and when I ate, sticking to very minute portions during lunch and dinner and not even allowing myself to snack in between big meals.
Of course, the stresses of classes and other relationships made this feat worse. Sometimes when I would give into cravings, I would simply chew a cookie before spitting it back out, just to get a taste of that sugary goodness. Whenever I felt like I overate, I would dry heave over the toilet and hope that my food remains would expel. I’d force myself to stay at the gym to work out and try to burn off everything that I ate in my last meal.
This was a never-ending unhealthy cycle. I had an epiphany early in my second semester as I stared at myself in my dorm’s door length mirror. It was a tiring process that was consuming the time and energy that I needed to succeed in my classes. I never cared about my weight back in high school, so why now? Food should not have been a comfort, and the gym should not have been my saving grace.
Second semester I started patching myself up. It was a rough journey, but I somehow made it. From factors such as social media, down to specific routines, I’ve compiled a list of things that helped me get through this slump and value strength over skinniness. For those of you struggling with body issues and eating disorders, here are a few habits that I adopted to practice self cafe:
1. Unfollow, unfollow, unfollow!
Instagram is great and all, but I found that staring at all these women with unrealistic body proportions was damaging to my self-esteem. Unfollow these accounts if you have the strong urge to go to great lengths to meet these body expectations.
2. Balance out your social media.
If you were to follow certain Instagram accounts, I would suggest to find a balance. Find accounts who promote workouts that you follow as well as recipes that you can make. In addition, find accounts that help motivate you and care for your mental health, whether it be through motivational videos or quotes that you can scroll through a few times a day.
3. Eat better, not less.
I know that it’s hard to avoid the dessert stand as you leave the dining hall. It takes a lot of willpower, and that’s something that comes with practice. Rather than waiting in line for ice cream, try grabbing a bowl with greek yogurt and fruit instead. If you’re hungry, then you’re hungry. Don’t starve yourself. Your body will thank you later.
4. Strength > Skinniness.
Protein is your new best friend. Freshman year I basically lived off of pasta and ice cream, which is not a good diet when you’re trying to gain muscle. If you want to gain muscle, try to start drinking protein shakes after every workout and look for protein-rich foods such as salmon and quinoa. But don’t deprive yourself of those carbs. Yes, simple carbs may not be the best for you. But your body relies on carbs for energy, and they are essential for brain function!
5. Find your support system.
I cannot stress enough how important this is. I don’t care how stubborn you think you are, you absolutely need the right people to support you and your road to recovery. It’s not going to be easy, and you need people who will help pick you back up. It’s absolutely okay to ask for help and be vulnerable. Find them and cherish them.
6. Ditch the scale.
The scale can be your worst enemy. A number staring back at you. A scale can be misinformative about how “healthy” you are, as it is unable to distinguish between muscle and fat. I started taking pictures of my muscle growth instead, and saw a vast difference in the way that my body looked from last year to now.
7. Embrace your body type.
Not everyone is built the same way, and not everyone will carry their weight in certain ways. Learn to love your stomach and your stretch marks and everything else that society may deem “unattractive.”
Not everyone’s road to recovery is going to be the same. Embrace your issues and learn to grow from them.