I have to be vulnerable and let you know that I have been struggling with perfectionism lately. The month of November was a tough one for me! In October, I was thriving and releasing content every day. I was building prominent relationships with readers and producing content nonstop! One day, I felt that every post was not sufficient since so many people were taking my advice and following my recipes. After hours and hours of writing and editing several posts, no article was worthy enough to release. Days turned into weeks, which turned into a few weeks. After a while, I simply stopped writing and focused on other projects.
One of the projects I threw myself into involved Dr. Brene Brown’s research about shame, vulnerability, and worthiness. All of her books hit me like a pile of bricks! I was feeling triggered and comforted at the same time. I realized, perfectionism comes from a place of not feeling enough. The more and more people I engaged with, the more I didn’t think I was worthy of their praise because other creators had better content than me. To keep up with the hefty content requests from my audience, I started making unattainable goals for myself. If I didn’t make the goal or if a photoshoot didn’t turn out exactly how I saw it in my head, I would punish myself with even more work. I began to resent the writing process and associated it with punishment because I was people-pleasing with every answered request.
4 Tips To Get Over Perfectionism
1. Be mindful of your triggers, then set boundaries. Since consuming Dr. Brene Brown’s research, I have become aware of what makes perfectionism and shame flare up in me. Setting healthy boundaries helped me to start striving for excellence in my work, not perfection!
When perfectionism is driving, shame is always riding shotgun.
Dr.Brene Brown
2. Realize that failure and mistakes are a part of life, so don’t be discouraged! Then fail some more. As Denzel Washington said, if you’re not failing, you’re not even trying. You win some you lose some, but the real key is never giving up on the dream or goal you are striving to attain! Nothing is perfect, and that’s okay. We all have a path to walk. Enjoy the journey and learn from your experiences!
3. Be yourself and allow yourself to be vulnerable. Be real! No one likes a robot. We all have flaws, so don’t be afraid to share yours because in that moment of letting people in authentic connections can be made.
4. Be honest with yourself about the goals you are setting. Set realistic and attainable goals. Don’t be hard on yourself if you fall short because that can lead to shame spiraling! Celebrate the small wins and do your best!
Perfectionism is the voice of oppressor, the enemy of the people. It will keep you cramped and insane your whole life, and it is the main obstacle between you and shitty first draft.
Anne Lamott
Have You Ever Struggled With Perfectionism?