When I started my Fall semester at the University of Georgia, I envisioned myself with so many new friends, being surrounded by several people at the dining halls and meeting even more people at the parties that I planned to go to every week. I thought making friends in college would be a breeze.
The funny things is, the exact opposite happened. I clung to the people I went to high school with, hanging out with them every second of the day. I wasn’t able to join clubs because of my night class. I didn’t live in a freshman dorm so there was rarely any socialization where I lived. I was miserable.
Whenever I ate at the dining halls alone or take a lonely stroll back to my dorm after my night class, I had this heavy weight in my heart that constantly reminded me that I was alone and wasn’t making the most out of my college experience. All of my other friends branched out of their high school friend groups, getting involved with campus organizations… just thriving. Seeing all of my friends succeed certainly put a damper on my self-esteem. They pointed out my lack of new friends too, and their words put a nagging thought in the back of my mind. The ease of their transition into college life was an envious feat that would always bother me while I was drowning in my work in the MLC.
The loneliness inside me continued to develop as the semester progressed. My classes were getting harder and I felt like I was suffocating myself with the amount of work that I had. I had a debacle with a friend that left me heartbroken. That same night, a few things were said between me and a guy that I liked that unfortunately left me sobbing on a sidewalk at 10pm. That night defined my first semester at UGA: a heavy weight in my heart, tears streaming down my face and the rapid rise and fall of my chest as I gasped for air.
To be quite frank: my first semester was shit.
Things started to look up in my second semester, though. New year, new me, right? I started branching out instead of staying holed up in my dorm, going to parties and meeting so many wonderful people. Funny thing is, these people that I met a week ago are now closer to me than those that I grew up with. I was able to participate in organizations that fit with my schedule and finally felt like I found a home here at UGA. I even rushed in the spring and got in touch with many different sororities that helped me with getting out of my comfort zone.
One of the biggest takeaways from my first year is the realization that I had to put myself out there. I grew up really timid and shy, but once I let loose and started having natural conversations with people, I found socializing really fun. I was always scared that no one was going to like me if I just be myself, but then I realized that the problem concerned them, and not me. I can’t control their actions, but I can only control how their actions affect me. The awkward phases of friendships were easy to skip when I could just easily go out and have fun with them.
Another thing that I found helpful in meeting new people is gossiping. No matter how many people deny it, gossiping is a guilty pleasure. It’s an easy way to break the ice and find someone with common interests as you, and even serves to lead a conversation elsewhere. The other day I went to a club’s first meeting and realized that I knew no one in the room. Fifteen-year-old me would’ve panicked and hide in the corner, whereas that day I sat down next to someone I didn’t know and talked about the cheating scandal between Jordyn Woods and Tristan Thompson. Now, we get dinner with each other at least once every week.
The beautiful thing about friendships in college is that you actually have to put in the effort to see your friends. If you met them in class then you’re only with them for an hour every other day, and even then that only lasts four months. It certainly isn’t like high school, where you see them everyday and then sit with them during lunch. In college, schedules rarely ever match up. This means that if you really want to build a relationship with them, then you have to set aside time and go out of your daily routine to keep the strength of the bond. Otherwise, the friendship will fade away and you’ll just make awkward eye contact with them as you see each other during class change.
College is a scary experience and sometimes feeling lonely is inevitable on such a large campus. However, I now believe that college’s main purpose is to get you out of your comfort zone and be comfortable with being uncomfortable. Stop living in your own safe zone. Start a new club. Learn a new skill. Sit with new people at the dining halls. You are bound to find people who love the same things as you do at such a large institution. It’s not going to get any better unless you make this experience your own.
Friends will always be there for you on a bad day, and I’m super grateful to be surrouned with people who love me as much as I love them. And if you’re struggling like I was last semester, just know that time will soon bring you friends that are willing to go to the moon and back for you. They’re out there somewhere. Sometimes you just have to take the first step.