The transition from a teenager to a young adult is, in my opinion, one of the most emotionally exhausting and chaotic periods in a person’s life.
All of a sudden, you have agency over your life. No longer are you required to spend eight hours of your day doing work you don’t want to do. You’ve essentially just gone from making none of your own decisions to making all of them –– from moving out to pursuing post-secondary education or throwing yourself into the workforce and, finally, to figuring out how you want to spend your time.
And what a loaded decision that last one is. How do you want to spend your time? Being responsible, such as studying and working? Relaxing, like staying in and binge-watching the newest Netflix original? Or socializing, spending as much time as you can with as many people as you can, “living life to the fullest,” as the cliche says?
It’s time to figure out what you want. And it’s the scariest decision ever.
Whenever I’m confronted with that question, something creeps up on me. Something that I honestly don’t think I had a ton of exposure to before, but is now heightened at such a level that, sometimes, it’s all I think about. That thing is known as “the fear of missing out” –– or, as most people refer to it, FOMO.
According to Wikipedia, FOMO is defined as a form of social anxiety that involves “a desire to stay continually connected with what others are doing.” And in the time of social media, where we’re constantly engaged with other people’s Instagram pictures and Snapchat stories, it’s at an all-time high.
I didn’t really start feeling victimized by FOMO until I entered my freshman year of college. Before, everyone has restraints that don’t allow room to really do much –– like I said before, all of your decisions are made for you. But as soon as college starts, all those rules and limitations are lifted and you’re suddenly free. Free to do what you want.
But what happens when what you thought you wanted doesn’t seem good enough? Or when you can’t exactly do whatever you want because you have responsibilities, and you’re too freaking good at holding yourself accountable? What happens then?
Let me paint a scenario, one that I’ve been in several times.
You decide to stay in. Maybe because you’re tired, or lazy, or you honestly just want time to yourself (sidenote: all of these are valid). And you’re fine, until you start looking at all of your friends’ Snapchat stories and everyone’s going out with their friends and –– wow, it looks like so much fun. Now your night in with a fuzzy blanket binge-watching You on Netflix doesn’t really seem all that appealing. Now you just feel…pathetic. Lonely. Lame, even. (I say all of this from experience).
Even though FOMO has basically become a meme on social media, it’s a real thing and it absolutely sucks. It’s really terrible to constantly feel like you’re not doing enough, or that you’re not a fun person. It’s even worse that there isn’t a ton of advice on how to deal with it since it’s such a new thing.
But don’t worry. There is still hope.
I was talking to a friend about my struggles with FOMO, and she gave me an insight that honestly changed my entire perspective on the entire situation. She said, “Stop being so concerned with what other people are doing. Because there is so much that you can do on your own. You should never be bored.”
Cue explosion.
Okay, maybe you’re not sold yet. But think about it. How often do you have moments where you’re alone, really alone? How often do you have free time?
Instead of looking at what everyone else is doing, do something worthwhile by yourself. Learn a new language. Start writing that book that you’ve always wanted to write. Listen to a podcast on some weird, obscure topic that you’ve never looked into but have always been interested in. The possibilities are, quite literally, endless.
“Living life to the fullest” doesn’t necessarily mean going out with a million people every night and acting crazy. Sure, that can be a part of it, but that’s not all there is to life. Not even close.
There’s so much to learn and so many places to go –– there’s so much you can do with your time.
I’m not talking about dropping everything and running off to Italy (though…if you have the ability…). There are dessert places near you that you still need to try. Books that you’ve been wanting to read. Some new hobby that you’ve been meaning to get into. My point is that making the most of your alone time doesn’t require using all your savings and taking a long trip. There’s so much for you to do, to learn, to accomplish, right where you are.
You make the decisions now. Your fate is in your hands.
Now, stop being so obsessed with doing what everyone else is doing and go use your freedom the way it’s meant to be used –– to better your life.