Wednesday Wisdom: How to Attract What You Want Into Your Life

“You want what you can’t have” — story of your life, am I right?

A dream of moving to N.Y.C. on your own after college, but you just can’t see yourself being independent enough to handle its demands of full-on, legitimate adult-ing.

That boy in calculus discussion you sit behind and marvel/drool at, but he only texts you to give him answers on his homework. (What a tease.)

A “Love It” cup of Birthday Cake Remix ice cream from Cold Stone, but you just can’t afford all of those calories right now. (And you already ordered Midnight Cookies last night so the whole ordeal is just really not in your best interest to take action upon.)

But girl, it’s time to turn your attitude around. I’m going to let you in on a little secret that will make this easier — it’s a secret on how the world can work in your favor and bring you all of these things and more. (I apologize in advance that it can’t change the fact that Cold Stone ice cream exceeds your daily caloric intake. Wisdom hasn’t become that advanced yet.) But, there’s a way to attract anything you want into your life, where you are the one in control. It’s called the “Law of Attraction.”

First, let’s break down how the whole mysterious scheme of the universe works to determine what goes on in your life. I’m not going to go all bizarre-cosmic-psychedelic on you (well, maybe a little bit), but here’s what it seems to be.

Any type of matter that comes into your life starts with a thought. Some little chirping in your brain that you decide to entertain, for maybe a second, or for maybe a year — it could be a feeling, intention, idea, or vision of a materialistic item. And what happens to you in reality is based on that thought. The more it churns/bakes/stir-fries/whatever your favorite cooking term is, the more likely it is to come out into your speech and behaviors. You might find yourself talking about it often or surfing the Internet and getting lost in mass amounts of information on it (thanks, Google), or pinning it to Pinterest and daydreaming about what could be.

It basically consumes you.

And then one day, it happens — there it is, you’re experiencing that thought in reality. You manifested it all by yourself, starting with a thought that set off a chain reaction in the real world. And let’s just say that what you wanted was something positive — now you’re elated that you got what you wanted. So much so, that everything else starts working in your favor too. You attracted positivity into your life, and your reaction to that positivity attracted more positivity. Positivity everywhere!

It’s a pretty simple cycle: thoughts influence actions, actions influence consequences, those consequences influence new thoughts, and the cycle continues. And even when the cycle is off kilter and not acting in your best interest, you can intentionally hack into it to make a change.

Once you know what you want, you can make your hack: become mindful of your thoughts and actions and know how to manipulate them.

Start to monitor how you react to things — you may often be reacting with unnecessary negativity and assumptions, and this will cause more harm than good and put a roadblock in the cycle.

For example, if you think a guy would never in a million years be interested in you, then your focus shifts to reading any signs from him as “not interested.” In return, you start acting uninterested because you think he just doesn’t like you, so why even bother trying to win him over? And bada-boom bada bing —as a result, he’s uninterested because you seem bored/annoyed/unapproachable whenever he’s around. And it all started with a thought!

Similarly, talking about someone behind his or her back because you feel you’ve been wronged, dwelling on what you should’ve done in the past, relishing in anger over how someone treated you, or constantly complaining, turns the cycle from spinning happily in your favor to turning away from what you want. Just like they told you in 1st grade when responding to a kid who’s mean to you on the playground: stop and think. Ask yourself if your thoughts and actions are serving you in a positive way and functioning in alignment with what you want. If the answer is no, then gently push them away and replace them. Turn complaints into thankfulness and disappointment into a lesson that can be learned and a step towards being ready for something even better in the future.

People see what they look for and hear what they listen for — shift your focus, and it will change what you experience. You’ll start to see light in places you used to see only darkness, and you’re going to feel lighter and clearer. It’s crazy how quickly a change in attitude can change everything.

So start asking yourself: what kind of energy am I projecting into the world? Am I going about life with heavy steps, a permanent R.B.F. (Resting B*tch Face) and expectations of failure? Or am I living with effervescence and a search for silver-linings?

We project out into the world and attract what we’re ready for. So get that karma on your side, and it will become your best friend.

 

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