The word “boundary” is intimidating. It brings to mind an image of an impassable wall or a line used to separate countries, but a boundary should not be a scary thing. Using boundaries in daily life can help us prioritize our time and set reasonable goals for ourselves. Setting boundaries is also a crucial component of self-care. Let’s get started.
Four weeks have passed since Fall semester has begun. Your professors are dropping reminders about midterms daily, the mandatory general body meetings for your organizations are beginning to overlap, your roommate is ignoring her dirty dishes for what seems like an eternity and your friends are trying to get you to go out with them just about every night. You’re beginning to feel a stressed and a little burned out. So what do you do?
“Setting a boundary” is by no means as official as it seems. It’s basically explaining your needs and validating your concerns through communication. Boundaries can be set mentally and communicated verbally. They are a way to check yourself and make sure that your are prioritizing what is most important to you. For example, you have a chemistry exam on Thursday — but your friends want you to go out for ladies night on Wednesday. If you’re concerned about your grade in the class and want to get a few more hours of studying in, you’re allowed to say “no.” There will be plenty more Wednesday nights to come, but you only have so many exams a semester. Setting a boundary is as simple as saying “no.” There’s really nothing too complicated to it. The most difficult part about boundaries is not so much setting them as it is deciding what to prioritize.
Prioritizing really hits home for me. I’m involved in many different types of organizations, and due to my high involvement, many of my general body meetings overlap. Fairly often, I find myself torn when deciding which meeting to attend. It’s so hard deciding when I want to be an active member in every organization equally. However, it’s imperative that I prioritize my involvement in select organizations in order to use my time wisely. I’m sure that many of you have encountered this same issue during your time in college. It may seem difficult deciding which organizations you want to put as your top priorities but I ask you to consider this: Why did you join the organization/club/society in the first place? What drew you into the organization? What sparked your interest? Did you join simply to put something on your resume or was it more than that? Once you answer these questions, you’re one step closer to understanding which organizations and members are your priority.
Once you have your priorities straight, you have laid down the foundation for your boundaries. Learning how to set goals and keep yourself on track early on will pay off in the long run. Boundaries can be used in school, at work, in relationships, at home, and even with ourselves.
Self-care is one of the main focuses of setting boundaries. Everybody has needs. When you identify your needs you are determining what is necessary for your success and well-being. In college, it is essential that you prioritize your physical and mental health for without them, you will not be able to accomplish your goals. You are your own advocate. It is important to stand up for your needs and voice your concerns. If you believe that you have taken on too much responsibility in an organization, let your club president know. If your work shifts are taking too much time away from your studies, speak with your supervisor and reschedule your shifts. Communication is key when creating boundaries. We cannot read each other’s minds, we have to let people know when we are stressed or overwhelmed. By setting a boundary for your own health, you are setting yourself up for success.
Boundaries — they may be difficult to implement, but they are impossible to live without. Boundaries help us to prioritize our health, communicate our needs and accomplish our goals. They are the foundation of our relationships with others and the line in the sand that we draw when we become overwhelmed. Try setting a boundary today, I promise you won’t regret it.