In the early 2020s, a small yet mighty word became popular amongst Gen-Z vocabularies via TikTok: the “ick”. The word “ick” or “icky” was originally used to describe gross or unpleasant feelings/things. Over time, it has evolved into something far more personal. Instead of describing objects or situations, it became a term for a sudden feeling of disgust or loss of attraction toward another person.
Targeted mainly toward boys and men, girls around the world started to label anything that was slightly off putting as an “ick”. A guy stuttering mid-sentence? Ick. A guy bringing you flowers when you don’t like him and have made that clear? Ick. Wearing jeans that are too tight? Ick. Getting drunk as a guy? That’s an ick. The list goes on and on, yet, when does it end?
As the trend grew, it became so popular that people began creating “ick lists,” compiling moments they either imagined or personally experienced with a significant other or potential partner. At first, it was harmless and just a funny way to explain why attraction faded or why someone no longer felt interested. Now, the phrase has become more than just “they gave me the ick.” It has started to function as an excuse.
Rather than acknowledging discomfort, incompatibility or fear of emotional closeness, the “ick” has become a shortcut. Working more as a barrier, it is used as an aid to avoid vulnerability and deep emotional connection. However, this isn’t noticed, even by the people doing it themselves. Saying, “Ugh, I can’t see him anymore, he gave me the ick,” followed by a reason as trivial as wearing mismatched socks reframes something silly and minor as a definitive dealbreaker.
This isn’t to say that all “icks” are invalid. Sometimes, the feeling stems from genuine red flags: disrespect, boundary crossing or clear incompatibility. In those cases, listening to your intuition and the “ick” 100% matters. Examples of these include being rude to a waiter, not holding the door open for those around them, etc. The issue arises when the term is applied so loosely that it turns normal human imperfections into immediate reasons for rejection.
Ultimately, this raises the question whether the trend protects us or simply gives us permission to write people off too quickly, focusing on miniscule things and deeming them as “flaws”. By using “the ick” to label minor differences as dealbreakers, we risk mistaking imperfection for incompatibility, and missing out on the process of dating and genuine connections.