Embracing Vanilla
When we think of the flavor vanilla, most of us think simple, classic and reliably good. In sex, we tend to use the word vanilla to describe traditional and conventional sexual practices. But just because it’s traditional does not mean it does not have as much depth, excitement or satisfaction. Let’s dive into the beautiful world of vanilla.
Vanilla in the World of Ice Cream
Now once in a blue moon, you’ll get ice cream with someone who says that vanilla is too plain for them. But if you hand most people a cup of vanilla ice cream, they’re going to be happy campers. Vanilla’s great! It acts as a delicious base, so you can add any toppings you want to mix it up.
Vanilla in the Bedroom
Similarly, vanilla sex is beloved and versatile. You can change up positions, partners, toys, locations or just keep it plain and it’s always a hit. Vanilla sex is all about intimacy, fun and pleasure. For most, this the foundation of a good sexual experience.
In the last couple of generations, the media has made kink feel like the standard. Between pornography, movies like “50 Shades of Grey” and rap music, etc., there is a misconception that kink, specifically violent kink, is the norm.
Unconventional sex can be fantastic for those who choose to partake, but it is one flavor. Just as you wouldn’t let someone force you to get rum raisin ice cream (ew), you shouldn’t feel obligated to partake in kinks like choking, slapping or bondage because you feel like you somehow aren’t enough if you say “no, thank you.”
Just because some people crave spicer experiences, it does not make vanilla less meaningful, fun or worthwhile.
You Define Your Vanilla
Sex should be a pleasurable and fun experience. If kink is not your thing, trust me, it’s not most people’s thing. Your experience should be your priority and whatever makes your sex great, vanilla or not, you should embrace it without societal pressure in mind.
When people talk about vanilla sex, I hope you think about sex that is timeless and satisfying and that you embrace whatever vanilla means to you.