No, you did not misread that title. I am indeed talking about embracing loneliness. Despite what you may think, loneliness is not something that you should be ashamed of, nor is it something that you have to hide. Everyone has felt, is feeling, or will one day feel lonely, and if you think you’re an exception, then think again.
Now before we jump into the “whys” and “hows” of embracing loneliness, let’s try to understand the meaning of loneliness and why there is so much stigma attached. Broadly speaking, loneliness can be defined as the state of being alone or isolated without friends or company, and the feelings of sadness that accompany this isolation. This general definition itself can be seen as a reason for the stigma around loneliness – I mean who wouldn’t feel sad if they were isolated and didn’t have friends? But, like most things in life, it’s a bit more complicated than that, and I’m hoping that by the end of this article you’ll see that loneliness isn’t necessarily a bad thing.
Society likes to put things in boxes, and once something is boxed in it’s quite difficult to break free. For example, loneliness has been made to seem like this sad, depressing, even shameful thing that no one wants to think about, let alone feel. Due to this stigma, people find it difficult to admit that they’re lonely – something which only furthers feelings of isolation and causes people to sometimes develop unhealthy habits. This is why we need to start embracing loneliness. Instead of constantly hiding and lying about how we feel – not only to other people, but to ourselves – we need to start being honest about our reality.
The truth is, if you’re feeling lonely then there is most likely a reason. The sooner you accept that and try to understand the reason why, instead of focusing on how to hide it from the people around you or grasping at straws to convince yourself otherwise, the faster you can address your feelings and move on. If you embrace your loneliness, you may even find that the thing you thought was so depressing might actually be the thing that helps you grow as a person. For example, if you start feeling lonely even when you’re surrounded by friends, it may be a sign that you’ve outgrown them. Outgrowing friends isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but it may be hard to accept. Ultimately, you need to embrace your reality and live your life.
You may even have been embracing loneliness unintentionally your whole life. After all, we’ve all needed some alone time, no? Of course, alone time and loneliness are not entirely the same thing because alone time means taking time for yourself and catching a break from people, whereas loneliness is feeling alone and wanting social connection. But, in order to embrace loneliness, we need to redefine it; we need to rebrand loneliness in such a way that it doesn’t make us afraid or sad. Rather, it needs to be looked forward to like alone time.
Instead of seeing loneliness as this awful thing, we should embrace it and consider it as an indicator that something is missing or lacking in our lives. Embracing loneliness is a new form of selfcare; it is a reality check, a reminder to not be complacent. We can think of loneliness as being a built-in alarm clock, and when it goes off we need to take a step back and reevaluate our lives. Don’t be ashamed of feeling lonely, don’t hide it, and don’t lie to yourself. Embrace it and get to the root of it. Embrace your reality, don’t hide from it.
If you’d like a different perspective or more advice on loneliness, take a look at these articles below. They highlight ways on how you can work through, and even embrace loneliness while not letting it take over your life.
- Feeling lonely? There are 4 types of loneliness. Here’s how to beat them https://www.stylist.co.uk/long-reads/how-to-deal-with-loneliness-types-emotional-situational-social-chronic/222923
- How to reframe – and even embrace – loneliness https://blog.calm.com/blog/how-to-reframe-and-even-embrace-loneliness#:~:text=Embracing%20loneliness%20can%20help%20strengthen,ground%20ourselves%2C%E2%80%9D%20Julia%20says.
- 7 tips on how to embrace loneliness https://www.bustle.com/articles/143892-7-tips-on-how-to-embrace-loneliness-because-it-doesnt-have-to-be-sad