1. Coffee
How else are you supposed to get through those all-nighters and still be alive the next day for your 9 a.m. tutorials?
2. Laminated Study Notes
You don’t want those tears messing up your beautiful study notes, and otherwise, what are you going to do when you accidentally use your study notes as a tissue the day before your exam?
3. Deactivated Social Media Accounts
Stop stalking your ex on Instagram, and stop tagging people in memes. It will save you so much time (and mental energy from reading long, boring posts when you can’t stop)
4. A Sad Bank Balance
Being broke actually has its upsides. When you can’t get lit on a Friday night, you have to actually adult and make yourself food, do your laundry, phone your mother, and maybe even get some studying done too.
5. Condoms and Contraceptives
Babies are cute, but the expenses they come with are not. Safe sex is always important;, remember to protect yourself and always ask for consent before and during sex (remember consent can be revoked during sex too).
6. A Full Season of Your New Favourite TV Show
Everybody needs a study break, so put your feet up and enjoy an episode. Only one! Who am I kidding, you are going to binge-watch the entire series in one night, aren’t you?
7. Wi-Fi
Eduroam saves lives on the daily because the data struggle is real. Make sure to find your spot in the library early and download all your series then and there (and maybe upload those slaying selfies from this morning too).
8. The patience to tolerate those damn pigeons
You just got your hot chips from caf and a pigeon steals your chip straight off your plate. Be calm. Don’t freak out. Just run and scream after the pigeon like any person would because stealing food is not cool, even if it’s from an animal that (supposedly) doesn’t know better.
9. Alcohol….lots of it*
You say you are giving up alcohol, but it’s okay. I said that too. I was wrong. Cocktail hour is always my personal happy hour.
*Only for people 18 years or older
10. Superhuman amounts of energy to chase Jammies (and walk up Jammie stairs)
What were they thinking when they built the university? Who has the energy to climb all those stairs every day? Also, I swear the Jammie drivers know when you are desperate, and they laugh as they drive away from you.
11. Pasta
Pasta is not only the best, but is a comfort food that suits your student budget. There is no such thing as eating too much pasta.
12. A Rocking the Daisies Ticket
And lastly, a Rocking the Daisies Ticket, just in case you ever need to get out of anything without UCT asking any questions.