As we think and reflect on love this week, a main issue that I have with society is the idea of needing to have “experience”. Somewhere within the ever-changing flow of social norms, people’s attitudes changed from loving one person passionately to needing to casually date multiple people before settling down with “the one”.
I have no means to offend anyone, but I feel very differently about this situation. Mainly because I’m not okay when I hear people tell me that I NEED more experience. “Just one boyfriend, Taylor?” “I think you should date a few guys before you decide that you’ve found the one” and “You two have been together that long, are you sure? You’ve never dated anyone else…”
While I will not stop anyone from casually hooking up with people and finding love that way, my wish is that others would stop telling me that my way is wrong. YES. Some of us exist. Some of us can actually find someone that we absolutely adore on the first try, and who are you to say that that’s not okay?
I also tend to receive a lot of backlash just for being in a serious relationship at a “young” age as well. People think that this type of relationship should be reserved for a later time in my life, but I couldn’t disagree more.
My boyfriend is my best friend. He has been there with me since I was seventeen years old, and has been a personal cheerleader for me in everything that I have done. He has sat through dance performances, award ceremonies, surprised me when I’ve made it through major life accomplishments, and always always always has my back.
He’s been there every day these past four years that we’ve been together to tell me that he loves me, that everything will be okay, and to surprise me with flowers and vanilla lattes when I need them most.
He has given me the space I need to grow in a city away from him with loving reminders of how proud he is to call me his girlfriend. He encourages me to chase my dreams, to expand my horizons, and to always challenge myself in all that I do.
I wouldn’t change my relationship for anything. I would never break-up with my boyfriend just for the sake of having “more experience”. Not all of us need that. We aren’t all hard-wired to need to meet multiple people in order to know that who we have is right for us. Some of us just know that what we have is amazing and we can’t explain to anyone else what that feels like.
My hope for those of you who may be struggling to find love is to never put down someone else or tell them that they’re “dating wrong” if they happen to be happy. It’s okay to be in a long-term relationship when you’re younger. It’s okay to be seriously and madly in love with your best friend, and it’s okay to believe that you actually have “the one”.