Social media is a curation of hand-picked highlight reels and aesthetics — a skewed version of reality. Understanding this truth is the first step to overcoming the fear of missing out (aka FOMO). Whether you’re comparing your Insta feed, style, performance in school, or fitness habits to those around you, the urge to emulate someone else takes the focus away from your own accomplishments.
As a freshman in college, I’ve had my fair share of FOMO. Coming into a new place, it’s hard not to be ensnared into any and all activities that pose as opportunities to make new friends. It’s natural and very common to feel this way. Everyone is swapping socials and getting connected, but the toxicity of comparison becomes hard to resist. With platforms filled with seemingly perfect and glamourous lives, it’s hard not to measure oneself against others. The constant influx of idealized aesthetics can lead to feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt. This is when FOMO starts to corrupt your mental and emotional health, meaning it’s time to get in tune with your needs and stay self-assured in your independence.
Personally, I value my alone time. I like to read my books and prefer not to go out to parties on the weekends. A lot of my friends understand, but some tell me I’ll be missing out if I stay back and it would be so fun if I came along. But, I know if I go out, all I’ll be thinking about is the chapter of homework I didn’t get to finish. Knowing the party won’t live up to Project X or anything truly unmissable, I never regret my choice to stay in. Besides, I have four years and plenty of time to experience the night scene. Because of my mindset, I’ve realized a few things about avoiding FOMO and these are my best tips!
I argue it all starts with being a little conceited. You have passions and traits that matter. By being at ease with yourself and setting personal goals, you get a clearer sense of what to prioritize. If you need a Sunday reset instead of a night out, do that, and feel secure in treating yourself first!
Live in the moment and be present! Engage fully in the activities you’re doing without constantly thinking about what others might be doing. As cliché as it sounds, you only live once, and you don’t want to vicariously live through others — so make it happen for yourself.
Learn to say no. Don’t feel pressured to say yes to every invitation or opportunity. Learn to focus on what truly matters to you. It may be hard to say no at first but be confident in your choice and don’t mull over it!
Lastly, find real connections. Create genuine relationships with people who understand and appreciate you for who you are and your values. Quality friendships are more valuable, tangible, and offer great support systems.
In college, independence is part of everyday life, but being contently independent is not as inherently achieved. From my experience, changing my mindset towards JOMO (joy of missing out) has helped me avoid natural inclinations to compare and shown me the value in saying no.
Overall, the more confident you are in yourself and your choices, the less you’ll be affected by what others are doing. Staying mindful of what you think is best for you, whether it’s choosing to stay in to study, going to bed early, or practicing some self-care, remind yourself that you are respecting and prioritizing yourself. There is so much time to experience life and you don’t want to waste it envying someone else’s! Do the things you like and remember to enjoy them!