Turbulent, overwhelming, and exhausting. Winter quarter always finds a way to take the ever-looming fog blanketing over campus and push it into my brain. With spring on the horizon, I’ve taken time to reflect on my internal warmth as I happily wait to see the sun again. By doing so, I have made the goal of regrowing my garden within my mind just in time for spring.
As the new season approaches, I find it the perfect time to water the flowers in your garden that serve you best. Pick out the weeds holding you back and make space for peace, love, and self-fulfillment. In other words, any daisies, roses, and other flowers of your choosing.
Shedding Winter’s Weight
The winter has a way of making everything seem heavier and resistant. The winds pushing against me on my bike rides, my backpack digging into my shoulders, and even my thoughts. As the rain seems to wash away this past quarter, I can still feel a brewing storm in my mind of everything I left unfinished. All of the plans I didn’t make and assignments I could’ve done better on.
But what good does letting that weight drag me down do? I’ve spent years battling the process of overthinking every “better” possible outcome of my actions. In a way, I’m shielding the sun from the growth I deserve by focusing on whatever is coming next. If nothing can be done to change the past, I’m better off removing it from my consciousness.
Springing Back Into Action With Friends
The busy nature of the winter quarter forces some into hibernation, and I’ll be the first to say I fell victim to it. Here is a formal apology to all my friends who may have thought I was in a deep slumber these past ten weeks. The good news, though, is the cold air is leaving alongside my ghosting tendencies.
Taking time to reach out to the people who make you happy is a key component to helping your flowers of companionship and love blossom. In the same way, it can be helpful to reevaluate those friendships that may not serve you anymore.
I recently realized that I have not had a single “fight” with one of my friends in a long time. The days of drama between me and those around me seem to be long over. How? I simply stopped entertaining friendships that made me feel bad. Friendships that made me nervous or where conflict was common are no longer part of my life.
It brings me so much joy to know that the most significant stressors in my life never involve those I love. I aim to tackle hardships with my friends as supporters by my side, not as opponents.
Finding Stillness In Spring’s Bloom
Spring is notoriously the season of new beginnings, exemplified by how the flowers change, the sun returns, and the college girl defrost begins. However, as we shake off the cold from winter, I find it essential to appreciate a newfound beauty in spring stillness.
My mind feels the most at peace when the outside world quiets down, letting my brain settle into its surroundings. This can look like lounging outside in the sun with nothing but headphones and music for hours. Maybe I’ll walk to watch the sunset all by myself to alleviate any pressures from the world besides solely existing.
It takes so much energy daily to move, speak, and behave. We all deserve time where that energy doesn’t need to be extended, where we can just sit and let spring hold us close.
Planting Seeds For Spring’s Future
With every changing season or time frame, I am bombarded with a different reason to improve myself. People flood conversations with questions surrounding my New Year’s resolution while my social media engulfs me with reasons why it’s the perfect time to start my 75 Hard journey. If I’m honest, this typically sends me into a spiral of picking up hobbies and setting goals without individualized reasoning.
Yet that always ends in the same way. I’m working out or trying to journal more for a superficial purpose that isn’t even about me. Without feeling a personal connection to these aspirations, they fall flat. This spring, I hope to change that.
I want to genuinely examine my garden and analyze its current state. Dissecting the hobbies that have made me happy helps me understand which hobbies I should strive to participate in more often. I also want specific and personalized reasons for going to the gym more. I’m not working out because social media has convinced me I need to; I’m doing it to feel strong and capable.
The seeds I plant in my garden this spring will be true to who I am and what I want. The strength of genuine love and thoughtfulness put into these goals will aid them in their blossoming.
Setting Boundaries Around Your Garden
Something I’ve been practicing lately is avoiding overextending myself. Setting boundaries in my life may seem evident initially, but it has exponentially helped me regain my peace of mind. Whenever I have a meeting, I clarify the end time with everyone. Once the commitment ends, I am honest about needing to leave.
It feels like a small act, yet it saves me from lingering for an extra half hour, which I could’ve taken to rest in bed. I communicate clearly with others when I’m not in the right headspace to have conversations and am still continuously practicing (but getting better at) simply saying, “Wait, I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed right now.”
Winter always teaches me that no one will know I’m overworked or stressed unless I am blatantly clear about it. I do not hesitate to admit when I need help or email that TA for an essay extension. I am honest about how much work I’m willing to commit to in group projects or work settings. Essentially, I’m doing future me a big favor by taking weight off her back by just being real with those around me.
Spring: A Season Of Hope
Finally, spring always comforts me with the realization that the warmth always returns. No matter how cold the winter months may seem or how dark the early sunset makes IV look, the sun will come back and greet me. Remembering the sun’s reliance causes my self-assurance and confidence to bloom.
Sure, sometimes life does indeed feel turbulent. It can feel out of my control and as if it’s being steered in the opposite direction from what I planned. Midterms pile up, work becomes monotonous, and I just can’t catch up with everything thrown my way. I grow tired yet restless with it all.
But it’ll be okay. My sun will return after a harsh winter, and things will be okay. My garden will flourish, and every year, it will be more beautiful than the previous spring. I will keep moving forward, full of hope and excitement for the upcoming flowers this season. I will part with the ones lost to the cold, chalking it up to a learning experience and understanding how to better tend to the seeds I am ready to plant.
Spring has sprung, and I will too.