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Roommates: Maintaining a Healthy Relationship

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at UCSB chapter.

It’s that time of year where everyone is contemplating their living situations for the upcoming year. One of the topics of contemplation include roommates, whether that means living with your current roommate or moving on with someone else. Whoever that is, you want to maintain a healthy relationship right off the bat! Keep in mind, living with a roommate does not mean that you have to be the best of friends. Having a roommate isn’t always like having a fun sleepover everyday like what we see in movies. One of the biggest adjustments for most when coming to college is getting used to having to share a space and all the limitations that come with it. This is all a learning experience, and there will be ups and downs. That is when rules and boundaries should be made. So here are some tips and tricks on how to maintain a healthy relationship with your current or new roommate for the upcoming year. 

Set Boundaries Early

It is very important to set boundaries sooner rather than later. Let them know right off the bat what you are and are not comfortable with. Your roommate cannot read your mind and won’t be aware of those discomforts. It’s a lot better to have those issues out in the open.

Be Clear and Specific

When setting those boundaries, make sure what you like and dislike is very clear and specific. Especially with what you dislike; your roommate can have a very different interpretation of what you mean and may accidentally do something that makes you angry. So be clear to avoid any type of miscommunication-based tension.

Sacrifice and Compromise is Key

Although your likes and dislikes are very important to voice, you must also keep in mind and always consider doing the same for your roommate. You won’t always get what you want. Sometimes in order to get one thing you want, you might have to sacrifice something else to give your roommate something they need. It is all about that compromise.

Communicate Openly

This is probably the most important tip of all. Keeping communication open between you and your roommate will make confrontation about any new occurring issues feel much smoother and safer. Establishing the idea of communicating openly will help avoid any feelings or obligations of keeping emotions in and feeling uncomfortable. That just leads to tension and discomfort in your living environment, and no one wants that.

Mindfulness and Awareness

Because you are sharing a room with another human being, it is extremely important to be more mindful and aware of your actions. When living in your space, it is easy to become so comfortable and forget about the other person there. So be mindful of your actions because some habits that you may do on your own might not fly by with your roommate.

Topics of Discussion

Here are few examples of basic topics of dicussion that are crucial to bring up right away:

  • Guests and Visitors 
  • Cleaning Habits
  • Possessions 
  • Room Privacy
  • Study and Sleep Schedules 

 

My name is Patricia Martin. I am currently a third year BFA dance major at UCSB. I am originally from Sacramento, CA. I have been dancing for seventeen years now and have not stopped. I am continuing my training in dance here at UCSB in order to meet my goal to one day be a part of a professional dance company. I also strive to become a choreographer and create works that will inspire other dancers and artists. Although dance is my life, my number one goal in life is to create and inspire whether that be through my dancing, performance or through writing. I am not the best speaker for I am best at expressing myself through movement and written words. And if I am able to use those two things and inspire someone, I am happy.