When I started college this past fall, I knew I would face challenges when making friends. Usually, I am an outgoing person and can strike up a conversation with just about anyone. However, due to the pandemic, all of my socializing moved online. To suppress my loneliness, I decided to join as many campus clubs as possible, even if it seemed burdensome. Five months later, I am almost embarrassed to say that I didn’t make nearly as many friends as I thought.
I currently write for two student publications, volunteer for a non-profit organization, and participate in faith-based events. If someone looked at my planner, they would think I am a total social butterfly. While I may be busy, that does not mean I have a flourishing social life. Most of my club meetings on Zoom are strictly business only. Occasionally, we’ll play a game of online Pictionary during a meeting. Still, most club members are not ecstatic to spend another hour on Zoom after a full day of online classes. Socializing in a pandemic world is, quite frankly, exhausting.
Even on days when I have a great time making new friends in a round of online speed friending – speed dating but in a non-romantic way–– leaving a Zoom meeting gives me an unparalleled feeling of isolation. I am left staring blankly at the computer screen, my eyes twitching slightly from the blue light. A wave of regret washes over me as I realize that I forgot to ask for someone’s Instagram handle; asking for social media handles is one of the only ways to connect with others these days. I have a mini existential crisis in my desk chair: was it a mistake to join these clubs in the first place if I can’t make a single friend?
The answer is obviously no. Campus organizations do not always have to be about forming friendships. During this pandemic, clubs have given me an outlet for self-expression, a way to advocate for important issues, and a space to speak with others in my community. However, even the most involved person will feel lonely. In the end, online communication just does not compare to in-person interactions; it’s less fulfilling. While getting involved won’t fully cure feelings of isolation and sadness, it adds some much-needed human interaction into my day, even if it’s just for a half-hour.