because what others do doesn’t necessarily have to be what you do
With a new school year looming, one of the main topics I hear fluttering through lecture halls and coffee shops is where and when people are going abroad.
As the fall quarter is usually the most popular quarter for students to go take classes in another country, it’s nearly impossible to escape the conversations and questions about studying abroad. I can’t count how many times I was asked, specifically in my sophomore year (since it’s common to go abroad as a junior), if I wanted to go abroad. Some people skipped that question entirely to ask where I was planning to go, as if it were a given that everyone goes abroad at some point.
When I answered these queries by saying I wasn’t sure I wanted to go abroad, I was met with reactions ranging from confusion to shock to immediate attempts to convince me why I had to go.
And look, I can totally understand the surprise. Who wouldn’t want to go live in another country for three months, traveling every weekend and experiencing a completely different culture from that of ours in Isla Vista or even America? Honestly, I asked myself the same question for a while.
I didn’t even understand myself sometimes. I felt like I was going to miss out on something so grand that I’d regret it for the rest of my life. I was angry at myself for gravitating towards staying in IV instead.
Yet, the truth is, abroad just isn’t for everyone, and that’s completely okay.
My thought process
For a while, I had the idea that I would go abroad. Mostly, though, it was because all of my friends were planning to, and the fear of missing out was nearly unbearable for me.
The summer before my sophomore year, I went to Italy. I figured I’d go back there because I loved it so much. And while the idea of living in Florence and eating pizza or pasta every other day sounded delightful, there seemed to be this pit in my stomach when I thought about being so far from home for so long.
I knew I’d be missing recruitment for my sorority (I’d never done it before and was really excited), all of the festivities of Fall Quarter, Thanksgiving with my family, and so many friends. This isn’t to say that I didn’t weigh out the positives too, but my eagerness to go abroad never outweighed my anxiety.
As the application deadline drew closer and it seemed like none of my roommates were planning to go abroad either, I realized that it simply wasn’t for me. I tried to ignore the odd looks people would give me when I told them I wasn’t planning on it, but honestly, my dad gave me really good advice when I admitted how guilty I was feeling for not wanting to go.
The rest of the world will still be there when you graduate.
making your choice
The most important thing to consider is really what works best for you, not anyone else. Not your friends, or your roommates, or even your parents. Think about what you want and trust your gut.
Staying here made more sense for me both in terms of lifestyle and academics. I’m a double major and didn’t have any GEs to do abroad, so it would’ve been a waste of a quarter studying that I very much needed. I knew I’d be homesick and anxious, and I was looking forward to the memories I’d make here instead.
I also didn’t want to worry about finding a subleaser, both because it’s usually difficult for people, and I didn’t want my roommate to have a complete stranger as a roommate for three months. And as I’ve mentioned, I just didn’t feel like it was something I needed to do, knowing I’d be missing so much here.
So it’s safe to say there were quite a few factors that went into my decision. I groveled over it for a while and asked for multiple people’s opinions (but only those I trusted would give advice that wasn’t meant to sway me one way or another). Ultimately, I’m really happy with my decision.
This isn’t to say that going abroad isn’t amazing. I had so many friends go to so many different places, and their pictures and stories were undeniably awesome. I’m so happy they had a wonderful experience, because it really is quite rare to get to live in a different country for three months in your college years. If that’s something that sounds appealing to you, then by all means, go for it.
But if it doesn’t, it’s not wrong. You don’t have to feel bad or different. It’s just what suits your needs and wants best, and that’s all that really matters.
Wherever you are, I just encourage you to enjoy it.