I remember around this time last year, freshman winter quarter was one of the most difficult times in college so far. The dining hall food had started to taste the same every single day. I was sick of constantly feeling disgusted by the communal bathrooms. I was tired of pretending I wasn’t incredibly homesick.
UCSB is supposed to be the time of your life — the beach a walk away, parties every weekend, challenging classes that inspire you — so why did I feel so down?
It seemed like everyone had found their people. Aesthetic Instagram dumps. Solidified friend groups. Sorority events every other night. Meanwhile, I was struggling to wake up for my pointless 8 a.m. section, questioning whether I should bite the bullet and take the train home for the weekend just to feel some kind of comfort.
My friends at semester schools were already counting down to summer break, while mine wasn’t even remotely in sight. It felt like I was going to live perpetually uncomfortable in the dorms, eat oily Ortega forever, and aimlessly walk DP every weekend looking for something to do. Worst of all, it felt like I was letting my senior-year self — the one who was so excited to attend her dream school — down by not having the time of my life.
So, needless to say, I understand how you might be feeling right now. You may be questioning your high school decision. You may be nostalgic for your own bed, your hometown friend group, your childhood dog. You may want to transfer. You may even want to drop out. You may want to stop trying in your classes because what’s the point?
But as a second-year student now living in Isla Vista, I’m here to tell you something you can’t see yet:
Life gets better. So much better.
Living in Isla Vista
Statistically, you’ve probably found, or are stressing about finding, housing in Isla Vista for next year. And let me tell you, just living in Isla Vista makes all the difference.
As a freshman, I didn’t find myself in I.V. very often. It was just a ritualistic pilgrimage every Friday night: freezing because you refused to bring a jacket, awkwardly asking upperclassmen to use their bathrooms, spending $20 at Deja Vu Cafe because there were no other options, and staying out longer than you wanted because the thought of the long, dark walk back to the dorms was worse than the party.
But none of that happens when you actually live in Isla Vista.
You can go back to your own apartment whenever you want — for a bathroom break, to grab food, or just to end the night early. And beyond the party scene, just having your own space that isn’t a communal nightmare is night and day compared to freshman year.
IV stops feeling like somewhere you visit and starts feeling like somewhere you belong.
The Social Scene
Right now, you might think everyone else has it all figured out. That you’re behind, that everyone has found their permanent, perfectly curated friend groups with aesthetic photo dumps romanticizing their life at UCSB, that you wish could be you.
Well, you’re not behind. And the Instagram dumps don’t tell the full story. Everyone feels lonely at some point — they just don’t post about it.
You don’t need to prove you’re having the “right” college experience. Everyone finds their people at their own pace. There’s no “one size fits all” for how you spend your first year of college.
My biggest piece of advice is to keep trying. Go to every social event for that one club you want to be a part of. Talk to people at parties. Sit next to someone new in class. Keep putting yourself out there, even when it feels discouraging.
It can feel exhausting to watch other people “living it up.” But as a second year, I promise you — if you stick to doing the things you love, the right, like-minded people will find their way into your life. And might even become your lifelong friends.
Apartment Life
Dorm life is, unexaggeratedly, the worst.
You never truly feel clean after a shower. You’re constantly avoiding someone in your hall or hoping you don’t get written up by your RA for the third time. You can’t even light a candle in your own room.
Moving into an apartment changed my quality of life exponentially. Cooking your own meals, having actual space for groceries and a full-size refrigerator, sitting on a couch at the end of a long day that isn’t shared by twenty other girls on your floor. Your life starts to feel independent in a way it never could in the dorms.
No room checks. Guests over whenever. No quiet hours looming over you. Just the feeling of having your own apartment changes everything. Trust me, freedom is so much closer than you think.
A final Note
As a second-year, I’m not even close to having it all figured out. But compared to freshman winter quarter, the difference is exponential.
Freshman winter quarter had me questioning whether this was even the right choice. As a second year, I’ve never been more grateful that I stuck with it.
So stick through the 8 a.m. sections. The homesick weekends. The winter slump.
Going home every weekend, transferring impulsively, or dropping out might feel like relief in the moment — but it would only rob you of everything that’s about to get good. You are so much closer to feeling at home than you think.
And one day, you’ll look back at this version of yourself with nothing but gratitude for not giving up.
