Ladies and gentlewomen, welcome back to the second installment of “UCLA Frat Boys Answer Questions Girls Are Too Afraid To Ask,” a two-part series diving into the inner workings of the enigmatic male mind — as curated by Her Campus at UCLA! Once again, our inside scoop has been shared by men of the Kappa Sigma and Theta Chi fraternities, with every boy baring their deepest thoughts, feelings, opinions and preferences for your personal entertainment (wow, this is starting to sound like the intro to Love is Blind or The Bachelor).
If you read part one, you’ll remember my friendly reminder, but just in case there are some newbies scrolling through here, I’d like to reiterate: This interview was conducted for fun and is based entirely upon college boys’ subjective experiences. Do not take these answers as guidelines for a reinvention of your personality, appearance or lifestyle. You deserve to be loved exactly as you are, so simply take the piece as a light-hearted research project meant to simultaneously humor, inform and intrigue the readers of Her Campus.
Now that that’s settled, let the games begin!
- Describe the perfect first date.
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As you may have guessed, common answers included dinner, arcades, picnics and drinking — lots of drinking. But the most important point the boys stressed was picking date ideas that allow genuine connection and conversation to ensue.
One member of Theta Chi envisioned his perfect date to be, “Going to dinner at someplace cool and new, walking around the city, getting drinks at a cool bar (preferably disco) and then the next day going on a hike.”
- What’re your thoughts on being in a committed relationship?
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Apart from the cuffed college guy of the group, the other frat bros all expressed a desire to be in a committed relationship at this point in their life. A representative from Kappa Sigma dove deeper into this idea, sharing, “I would like to be in a committed relationship, but I don’t believe in actively searching for one. I think that searching for a relationship may cause some people to try to fit their prospective partner into a mold, and that isn’t fair to the other person. Instead, I want to wait until I find somebody who truly shares the same values as me, and with whom I’m truly compatible.”
- Is waiting until marriage a deal breaker?
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To my genuine surprise, this question severed our group right down the middle. Some boys vehemently insisted that waiting until marriage was “lame” and “not worth it,” while others argued that finding the right person meant not throwing your relationship away on something as insignificant as sex.
When asked if it’s a dealbreaker, another member of Kappa Sigma claims, “Personally, it is not. If we are truly compatible with each other long-term, then the wait isn’t a problem. It’s important to communicate what everyone is comfortable with from the beginning.” (*cue heart eyes and butterflies*)
- What do you think about “pDA”?
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This question received relatively similar answers from all of the boys, such as, “Personally, I think it’s a little weird if it goes overboard,” and, “I think it’s cute when it’s like hand-holding, side-hugging your girlfriend while walking together, etc. Doing anything remotely sexual in public is gross.”
So my advice to you is…Keep it PG, save the sexy stuff for the bedroom! The phrase “get a room” came from somewhere, so don’t be the reason it’s still relevant.
- When guys develop feelings for a girl, do they get butterflies?
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Prepare yourselves for the waterworks ladies, these answers are going to make your heart burst quicker than the Duke’s profession of love speech in Bridgerton Season 1.
Two Theta Chi members claimed, “Yes 100%, [it’s the] most exciting and good feeling,” and, “I think for some guys they do. Personally, I get a head rush.” STOP! SO CUTE.
- Would you be jealous if you saw your GF talking to other guys? What if she has a lot of guy friends?
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Perhaps the most insightful information in this article comes from a Theta Chi member’s explanation of the jealousy scenario: “Depends if she knew them before. I think guys have an innate protective instinct. I try to avoid jealousy, but sometimes it happens anyway.”
Kappa Sigma’s interviewee agreed, adding, “It depends on the situation 100%. There’s absolutely no reason to get mad if they were her friends before y’all met and if she’s transparent about any past romantic interests/encounters. If she is not open or if she lies about something then that’s where there can be a disagreement.”
- Have you ever cheated? Would you cheat? Could you forgive a GF that cheated?
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I’m proud to say the UCLA girls have been representing well — none of the boys have been cheated on before. Let’s give a warm round of applause for basic human decency!
As for the boys’ opinions on cheating, all said they would not cheat and could find it in their hearts to forgive, though one Theta Chi member answered, “I would probably not cheat. If a girl cheated on me, it would take a lot to forgive her.” Not really sure what ~probably~ means here, but I’m going to give him the benefit of the doubt (my famous last words).
A Kappa Sigma member chimed in as well, adding, “It’s better to just break up if you can’t commit. I would forgive, but break up and not get back together.”
- Do you want to get married and have kids in the future?
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Congratulations ladies, we are definitely in this for the long haul — everyone showed interest in getting married and having kids! And to get more specific, the guys agreed upon the late twenties being a good age for marriage, then waiting until the early thirties to settle down with kids.
- Are there any questions that guys want to know about girls?
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Our fraternity members have compiled a list of four basic questions they’re *dying* to know:
- Why is it so hard for girls to communicate their feelings clearly?
- Why do some girls take forever to respond? (Who’s gonna tell him?)
- Best way to approach girls?
- Ideal first date?
- What is something you wish more girls knew about guys?
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Many of the guys quickly divulged their day-to-day experiences with insecurity, with one Theta Chi member revealing his deepest fear: “That people only want me for my body and not who I am.”
As women, we can certainly relate to these fears of objectification and hypersexualization, so it’s important to keep in mind that men feel this way too. Another Theta Chi member asked that girls keep in mind that, “Every guy is different, [so] they shouldn’t be stereotyped under one generalization. And vice versa.”
On a different (and much lighter) note, a Kappa Sigma member wrote, “We are very easy to approach. If we’re interested then we will keep the conversation alive. If we’re not and we still vibe with you, we can be friends. You shouldn’t be afraid of rejection from a guy, he will probably forget the interaction anyway.” (Glad to know we are so forgettable.)
I can honestly say these interviews have prompted more questions than answers for me concerning the complex mentalities of today’s young men, but I still applaud their unabashed candor all the same. I’d like to extend my gratitude to the members of Kappa Sigma and Theta Chi’s UCLA chapters for working with Her Campus to answer college women’s burning dating, love and relationship questions. You guys are the best!
As for our HC readers…do with this information what you will, but always remember that your worth lies in the inner workings of your own heart and soul. Trust me, in thirty years you’ll celebrate the immense impact you’ve had upon the world, not the flirting strategies and first date ideas you learned from that one Her Campus article.