Relationship articles are often an author simply sharing their personal beliefs about how to curate a successful love life, but what if we chose to dive even deeper into dating culture’s universal enigmas? What if we stepped into the minds of men themselves to find the answers to our burning questions?
Lucky for us, a representative group of fraternity brothers from UCLA’s Greek organizations Theta Chi and Kappa Sigma has sat down with Her Campus at UCLA to provide insight into the male perspective on relationships and dating. (A gentle reminder though, these boys are sharing their personal opinions and preferences — you should never have to change yourself to fit a certain image. Being yourself is the most important part of finding a successful relationship. Your partner should always love you for you!)
Thus, without any further ado, I’d like to welcome you to the unfiltered honesty of UCLA’s finest frat bro bachelors:
- What are some turn-ons for guys? Turn-offs?
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Photo by Beatrice Helman -
Our Theta Chi and Kappa Sigma friends outlined two lists of the most desirable and disliked traits in women, according to their personal preferences:
Turn-Ons: Confidence, good sense of humor, spontaneous/adventurous, academically focused, sweet personality, maturity, humility, strong communicator and good music taste.
Turn-Offs: Laziness, controlling personality and overly self-absorbed.
- What are some signs that a guy is (or isn’t) interested in a girl?
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Anna Schultz / Her Campus -
Here are some key signs the boys said to look out for:
- Eye contact, especially if he looks at the same girl over and over again.
- Proximity, he’ll want to be around her all of the time (as physically close as he can get!).
- Liking Instagram stories.
- Asking questions about her: “If he asks about things she likes, he’s interested in learning about things that can make her happy,” one frat brother revealed.
A lack of interest could be indicated by him…keeping a distance, always claiming to be busy and poor communication.
- How do you feel about girls making the first move? How should a girl approach you if she’s interested?
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All of the boys agreed that girls who make the first move are “cool” and “attractive.” One brother from Theta Chi shared, “Just be straight up and clear with intentions.”
A member of Kappa Sigma added, “The best way would probably be to spark up a normal conversation, about anything immediately relevant. It can be something as easy as ‘Hey I noticed the sticker on your laptop. What songs do you like from that album?’ From there, if I’m interested then I’ll keep the conversation alive. If not, I’ll let it end naturally.”
- What do you prefer more – girls with makeup or girls without makeup?
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For this question, the general consensus was in favor of whatever the girl felt most confident in.
A Kappa Sigma member revealed his own opinion on the matter, claiming, “I think they usually look prettier without [makeup because] style, hair and small accessories (small earrings, bracelets, etc) are better at enhancing exterior beauty.”
- What’s the first thing you notice about a girl?
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Every fraternity member listed “face” as the first thing they notice about women (really specific, thank you), with hair and overall style coming in at a close second and third!
- When guys hang out together, do they talk/gossip about girls?
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Amy Cho / Spoon -
Though the answers were all over the place here (i.e. yes, very rarely, sometimes, etc…), one member from Theta Chi revealed, “Generally dudes talk about girls they’re interested in or ask for advice on their relationship or how to get this girl.”
- Do guys stalk girls’ social media profiles?
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Amidst the resounding yes’s shared from the group, another member from Theta Chi excitedly added, “Yes, all the time (not me y’all stay safe tho).” Hopefully, that’s a comfort to all of you ladies out there, we aren’t the only ones stalking guys’ socials with our friends (though I can guarantee we are much better at it than guys).
To be completely honest, I was surprised by the vast range of answers supplied by UCLA’s fraternity members. Some interviewees fit the mold of have-fun, party-hard bachelors, while others appeared as genuinely sweet romantics searching for love. Perhaps the most valuable lesson we should take from this article is to never judge a book by its cover. Everyone deserves a chance, but nobody deserves to be written off on account of looks, stereotypes or gossipy rumors.
There’s a diverse population of men out there waiting to be discovered, so utilize some of these insights to put your best foot forward in the contemporary dating pool. (And in the meantime, prepare for Part 2 of “UCLA Frat Boys Answer Questions Girls Are Too Afraid To Ask” with even more insider secrets, tips and stories from the boys!) Good luck in your future romantic ventures, remember that HC at UCLA is always cheering you on from afar!