It’s time we talk about boundaries because, to be honest, many of us struggle with setting them.
In our early twenties, we navigate through a lot of ups and downs. We have to balance our classes, friendships, clubs and career development all at once. It is easy to over-commit and get overwhelmed. And then, when we overcommit, it can often be hard to say “no” or lighten your workload.
Whenever this problem comes my way, I never know how to handle it. I often try to complete everything, and it leads to a toxic cycle of burnout. My goal: stop this cycle. Which is, of course, a lot easier said than done. How do I set these boundaries ahead of time, so I’m not in this situation? And if it gets to the point of panic, how do I work through the stress?
As we take on commitments, we often think we can do it all. We think we can take 17 units, hold officer positions in three clubs and complete an internship all at once (while also maintaining a social life and moderately good sleep habits). In theory, this would be a perfect combination, but in reality, it is hard to balance.
And so the slow drain of energy begins. Your work loses quality, you get less sleep and you become overwhelmed.
To mitigate this, it starts with planning. Take a moment to think about your commitments and the responsibilities that come with them. There are 140 hours in a week, and after taking out time for classes and sleep, most of us only have a handful of remaining free hours.
Looking at your commitments — it may seem reasonable, but you have to factor in other things such as time to eat, shower and destress.
So realistically, you probably did overcommit in this process, which is okay! What is more important is figuring out how to take a step back and how to say no. This is key to setting boundaries. Start with figuring out why exactly you are saying no: is the ask too big? Do you not have the time to complete it? Are you drained? Once you have your reason it is important to be honest and have open communication. It is a tough conversation to have with the people you’ve committed to, but it will help everyone in the long run.
At the end of the day, we are all human, and it is important to have empathy toward one another! Taking time to set these boundaries will save you pain and being honest can help everyone plan better. It is okay to put yourself first in these situations.