“Maybe we aren’t a good match after all…” Even though housing applications and apartments are decided for next fall, some of us are rethinking our roommate choices. But these concerns are normal, and they can often be wiped away by just getting to know them better. Here are five tricks you can do to get to know your roommate better:
- They don’t have to be your bestie, but they should feel like family
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One of the popular misconceptions about “good” roommates is that you have to be besties with them. That’s not true at all! I am close with my roommates, but we don’t hang out with each other much outside the room. Nonetheless, I trust my roommates 100%.
Think about it this way — your roommates should feel like your sibling. You can laugh at ugly photos of each other and complain about your partner to them. But you don’t necessarily have to get along with all of their friends. What’s important is that you genuinely care about each other from the core. You live with them after all. They should feel like family.
- Double-check about living preferences!
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This is SO important! When I was roommate hunting last summer, I was able to pick a perfect roommate by making sure she meets my lifestyle. Even if you already did this before you chose your roommate, remember that people’s lifestyles are constantly in college! So check in on them again and also inform them of your preferences.
Some good questions to ask include:
• What time do you usually wake up and go to sleep on weekdays? Are you a light sleeper?
• Are guests allowed or not? If yes, how often?
• When someone is sleeping, should we allow desk lamps or not?
• What is the optimal room temperature?
• Any pet peeves?
• How clean do you want the room to be?
• Curtains open or closed when sleeping?
• Any allergies?
- Respect each other’s boundaries
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Now that you got lifestyle preferences down, it’s time to respect these boundaries. If your roommate is really messy but you’re clean, you can decide to leave their desk the way it is by setting rules about cleaning the floor or other communal spaces (e.g. vacuuming once a week). Remember, it’s not gonna go perfectly as you planned, but making compromises is part of the experience of sharing living spaces with people!
- Visit each other’s current rooms
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Here’s a no-brainer: one of the best ways to understand someone’s lifestyle is probably to see that person’s living space! Schedule a time with your future roommate to visit each other’s dorm rooms/apartments. Is the desk messy or clean? How do they split up closet spaces? Do they sleep on top or bottom bunk? Do you like their diffuser scent? How bright is the room?
- Find mutuals on Instagram!
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What do you do when you meet someone new? Stalk them on Instagram! But when stalking your future roommate, pay attention to your mutual followers. Who knows, you might have tons of mutuals or none at all! If you have mutuals, go talk to your mutuals to figure out what your future roommate is like. You can even hang out with the mutual and your future roommate to see what they are like in front of people they know! You might even find that your future roommate follows your ex; maybe it’s time to share your past with your roommate and see whether they accept it. If not, then you can either set boundaries or if it’s too difficult for you, find new roommates.
Roommate searching is hard. And even if you found one, you may still feel uncertain. I hope you try the five tricks above and try to get to know your roommate before next fall. Good luck!