Technology is really prevalent in our modern world. Everyday we use our cell phones to communicate with people, our laptops to do schoolwork and the internet to do research. It is no surprise online dating is so popular now. I did not use Tinder at all until I got to college, and this is my experience with the app…
I downloaded the app having no idea how to use it. I only put one picture of myself, the typical Facebook profile picture and my biography barely had any text. I did not really look at other people’s profiles and just mindlessly swiped on the first glance. I got messages saying “Are you a bot?” which made me so confused. I found out that it was because my profile barely had anything on it and people got the wrong impression.
Once I added more pictures, the lengthier conversations began. I stopped mindlessly swiping and looked for other students in my area. I did not know what to expect at first so I just asked questions about advice for school. Then people started asking to hang out immediately after a couple messages and I realized how forward this app can be. Sometimes we met up, but it was always at a public place at first. I met them at parties or at the bar, and we just talked. We added each other on social media and sometimes that was the end of that. The conversations can just die out if no one is asking questions and ghosting is mutual. Other times, the guy persists to keep sending multiple messages and I end up ghosting him because it has gotten weird.
A couple times it has worked out. On Tinder, sometimes you cannot tell what the other person is looking for. On the other hand, Bumble gives options that you can choose from regarding what kind of relationship you want and what stage you’re in. On Tinder, I noticed it’s more for hookups and casual talking. I have met up with some people and we did absolutely nothing physical. We even hung out after that too and the conversations kept going off the app, either through text messages or Snapchat. In contrast, if a guy and I had physical interactions during our first time meeting, we both kind of mutually were stopped talking to each other after. We got what we wanted and were done.
I had a rare case where I matched with a guy from school. On campus, I make my age range from college students and mile radius to 2, so it is more safe for students like me. This guy I matched with was so generous, offering to get me lunch and dinner, take me out to explore the area, etc. We did not even flirt much but I guess he just wanted some company. That was very striking to me but I was completely fine with it. Other times if I see people I know on the app from class, clubs or living area it can be awkward. If it is someone you are friends with, the interaction can be okay but other times it can be so cringy.
Outside of college students, I have updated my age range to 23-30 and mile radius to 15. I just wanted to see what was out there for fun. A lot of people put their area of employment so again, I just swiped for fun. I asked questions about the companies they worked for and how they got the job. Then they would ask me out for drinks or meet up in person but I got creeped out. One of them straight up said, “So are we ever going to see each other or are you just going to use me for career advice?” Then I deleted my profile. It is the end of the quarter now and I decided to give myself a break. Maybe I will start it up again in the new year and reset my matches so I can actually read through someone’s profile instead of mindlessly saying yes or no and making an effort in the app.