It happens every year, Fall quarter flies by in the blink of an eye. Full of laughs, colorful Google calendars, long Thursday nights and most importantly excitement. This type of excitement puts pep in your step so you can make it to that 8am lecture and makes you forget how fast the weeks truly are passing. I currently share those same fall quarter feelings with the addition of anticipation and extreme FOMO (fear of missing out). If the combination of these feelings seem familiar to you then you know exactly how it feels to be eight weeks out from moving abroad. Sounds fun right? I know there is so much to look forward to but I seem to be stuck at a halt as the whirlwind of emotions has made the path ahead unclear. This is the pre-abroad chaos nobody tells you about.
Planning the next few months of your life while trying to remain present in the current day to day can be challenging. Personally, I have found myself overwhelmed with deadlines trying to make sure I have both my essay submitted and flight booked by Friday. In moments like these, there is a tension between managing the urgency of what is in front of you while preparing for what is next. Finding a balance between the two can not only be challenging but leads to burnout. Motivation becomes low while the importance to stay on track remains the same. It is unlike me to submit minutes before a deadline or not respond to an email till days later but due to burnout I find this becoming a pattern. While this burnout feels heavy now, it has reminded me to slow down and value the time I have left pre-abroad, a mindset I hope others in this position will embrace.
Another emotion I can’t seem to conquer is my severe case of FOMO. Even though I will be making irreplaceable memories while abroad, I find myself growing jealous of my friends and family who will still be in California. I can’t help but think of all the roommate Salt & Straw dates I will miss, many of the special first moments after my niece is born and of course watching UCLA women’s basketball dominate the court this season. My family thinks I am crazy considering I will be traveling to new countries nearly every weekend while living out my Italian dreams. The truth is, my FOMO isn’t really about missing the moments but missing the people that make those moments matter. As someone who loves having a team to share her wins with, big or small, part of me wishes they could pack up their lives to experience abroad with me too.
I must admit, as sad as I am to leave my home, I cannot wait for the adventure that lies ahead. Every deadline I meet and list I check is getting me one step closer to being abroad. My knots in my stomach are real but the excitement I feel to have such a unique once in a lifetime experience smooths any sort of fear. Leaving California gives me a chance to be exposed to a culture that is new to me and learn from them whether in terms of their values or pasta recipes. Planning my weekend trips for when I’m abroad has kept me hopeful for the future while having to stay put in Westwood for now. In the end, the countdown isn’t just about leaving California, but about giving myself a chance to flourish in the environment that awaits me across the world.
These last few weeks before take off may have me in a state of limbo but I have learned it is normal to be mentally abroad and physically in lecture. So if you’re feeling that same in-between, remember this current state of chaos is only temporary because it is simply the first step in your journey abroad!