When I think about friends, I think about the film Frances Ha, and the moment its titular character covets, breathes and loves.
“I want this one moment,” she says.
“It’s what I want in a relationship… which might explain why I am single now, ha ha. It’s that thing when you’re with someone and you love them and they know it… and they love you and you know it… but it’s a party, and you’re both talking to other people, and you’re laughing and shining, and you look across the room and catch each other’s eyes, but not because you’re possessive or it’s precisely sexual, but because… that is your person in this life.”
While I support every gal searching for true love’s kiss this Valentine’s Day, I will spend my week searching for my Frances Ha moment. There’s something immortal about friendships. They are, as Frances puts it, not reliant on possession or sexual desire, but on a shared dedication to one another. Valentine’s Day celebrates our romantic relationships, but I believe equally in the importance of Galentine’s Day, to celebrate our everlasting friendships. If you need an excuse to show your friends some love, the holidays are perfect.
Letters are my love language. I write them for places, family, myself and my friends. This February, I implore all my fellow single (and taken!) ladies out there to pour a little time, a little love, into letters for your friends.
Letters are scary. How do you start? What do you say? These questions are difficult to answer; letters are personal, and people approach them uniquely. Rather than spilling facts about why I adore my friends, I like to craft a narrative. Pick a story, a memory, a first impression or an inside joke, and center your letter around that. They can be as long or as short as you desire. Whether it’s a five-line poem or a three-page reminiscence, words are kindnesses, and sharing them, receiving them, is love.
I’m terrible at crafts, and if you’re anything like me, you shy away from scrapbooking or artwork. Don’t let that deter you! The notes app is your friend. I love drafting my letters digitally and then handwriting them after. If you have access to a printer, you can even print your letter.
I encourage all of you to compile a list of those friends who have made your year special and let them know. Even a text will do–remind them you’re there, remembering, appreciating and loving. This is how to make Valentine’s Day Galentine’s Day.
Laughing and shining… with your person in this life. Is there anything better in the world?
At the crux of my soul, you will find wistful verses and strange words. “Sit by my side, and let the world slip,” and “Do you see how infinite you are?” and “dawn” and “rage” and “whimsical” and how can I express these to you, to my best friend, to my good friend and my childhood friend?
This week I will try. And perhaps you will too.