How To Confront Someone When You’re Terrified Of Confrontation

Christopher Hitchens once said, “There can be no progress without head-on confrontation.” Confronting someone about anything can be scary, but it’s a necessary skill that you need throughout life. When I was younger, I was very shy. People would always tell me to stand up for myself, but I never really knew how to. 

I always would avoid confrontation because I was terrified of someone getting mad at me or saying something hurtful. I would never voice any problems that I had with my friends or even questions I had about how my teacher graded an assignment. Eventually, I realized that storing up all my anger and frustration would just make me take out all those emotions at once, which is definitely not healthy. Keeping everything inside will just end up hurting you at the end of the day. Everyone has a right to speak up about things that they need. Even if the confrontation doesn’t end the way you want it to, you haven’t failed; it’s a learning experience to grow from.

One of the most important things to do before confronting a person is to prepare yourself beforehand. Something that has really helped me is planning out what I really want out of the situation in writing. Once you have a clear objective, you will have a better idea of how you want the conversation to go. Writing everything out will also get rid of some of the anxiety you may have. Now that you are all prepared for the conversation, what next?

First off, make sure it’s the right time for you and the other person to have a discussion. If you are really worked up, chances are that the confrontation will not go the way you want it to. You want to be calm and in a good state of mind. If you know that the other person has a lot going on or is in a bad mood, it’s best to save the conversation for a later time. Once you both are ready, just stick to your script and let them know how you feel. It’s so important to express your feelings to the other person. When they hear how you’re feeling, it might make them more understanding of why you’re confronting them.

Confrontation seems daunting at first, but ultimately it will help you address important things in the future. No matter what happens, you are going to come out of the situation stronger and ready to tackle the next confrontation.

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