It’s approaching noon and I try to force myself out of bed. I lean over, with my eyes nearly shut, trying to navigate my dresser and get a grip on my iPhone. I grab it and roll over in bed. I’m there for another thirty minutes mindlessly scrolling through the time warp of TikTok. I still haven’t gotten up.
I check Snapchat, scroll through Instagram and briefly check my emails. I take a mental note that I haven’t gained anything significant in the last hour of having my phone in my hand, but that doesn’t change this terrible habit of searching for it the moment I wake up. I finally get up because my coffee craving has grown too apparent to ignore. I do my whole morning ritual in the bathroom and then make my way downstairs. I make my cup of coffee how I like it. For a brief second, I question where my phone is, but it is held snug in my left hand. I leave my phone on the kitchen counter while I make my coffee, then grab it subconsciously as I make my way to the couch.
I’m beyond excited to enjoy this cup of joe, as it is the one thing I look forward to each morning. I’m sitting on the living room couch with my dog, my cup of coffee and, you guessed it, my phone. I navigate back to my social media apps, in and out, scrolling mindlessly. It’s 30 minutes past one in the afternoon. I haven’t accomplished anything. I’ve already spent one hour of my new day on my phone. Nothing in my life has improved during the time spent on my phone. I haven’t learned anything worthwhile, I haven’t had a conversation with someone I care about, I haven’t had any “aha!” moments. Nothing. I’ve merely passed time with a device that I’ve become a slave to.
As a result, I’ve lost the mental energy to devote time to things I actually care about. During the school year, I’m kept busy. My phone is there, but it’s not a drug that I’m addicted to. I have classes that require my focus and a schedule that can’t be tampered with. But right now? During this pandemic? I have become hopeless. Self control? Out the window. Focus? Gone. Attention span? What’s that? I have become a puppet to the digital world and it has robbed me of my true purpose, my passions and what fulfills me.
I found myself feeling the need to stay “updated” through Instagram. I felt that I had to “connect” with my friends through Snapchat streaks. I felt that scrolling through Facebook would keep me “informed”. I felt that binging TikTok would keep me “occupied”. In reality, these were all meaningless moments of “communication” that would temporarily fill my void for true human connection and in turn, leave me more lonely than ever. Loneliness skyrocketed while my brain cells died day by day.
So, I decided to break up with my phone.
That’s when I finally took control back. It was time to get out of the time warp that my phone, and all its applications, sucked me into. I was over it. I wanted to write again. I wanted to smile again. I wanted to play piano again. I wanted to connect again. I wanted to read again. I wanted to do all the things I loved but felt I didn’t have the energy for because of my phone. So, how did I do it? I made it invisible. I put it in a drawer far, far away where it would take a whole lot of energy to get to, and it would be foolish to run after unless I really needed it. Convenience is king. The moment something is no longer convenient to us, we lose the desire to go after it. What’s easy is what is taken advantage of, and what’s hard to obtain is strayed away from. Our phones are the perfect example of this.
I always had a healthy relationship with my phone. But, once this pandemic hit, and I was forced to stay limit contact with those around me, I felt like it was the only source of outside communication. But it wasn’t. It was just the most convenient, and it robbed me of my sanity until I broke up with it.
What was the result?
I didn’t have an ongoing distraction by my side every second of every day, so I was able to finally devote my full energy and attention to the things and people I loved. I finally began reading again, finishing four books the first week I threw my phone in the drawer. I was writing again. I hadn’t written an article this entire quarantine because I had lost inspiration and because I wasn’t pushing myself to. I finally felt happy again; I wasn’t being consumed by the lives of others or how they are navigating COVID-19, but rather was thrown into my own world. I found myself reaching out to friends more and having actual communication because I no longer had such easy access to them. I felt at peace again because my mental sanity was no longer being disrupted by all of these micro-connections to the outside world. I slept earlier and better. I read myself to sleep and woke up to the same book. I was inspired again. I took my life back.
I broke up with my phone, and you should too, at least for a week. See how you feel and how your life transforms. Your phone and social media will always be there, but your time won’t. Make your decision accordingly.
I’m not saying phones and social media are entirely bad! They can be inspiring, educational and incredible tools. I use them for such! I love connecting with people through social media and sharing what I learn. But, this tool just can’t be abused. Once it is, any potential it has at helping you is destroyed.