Here is a trend going around on TikTok a little while ago that I absolutely loved: people would share their rankings of “how scary it is to do activity X alone” and include things like going to the movies or the park alone, and then putting a 0/10 ranking for all of them. I am absolutely obsessed with this trend, especially because I feel like it is so scary to go out and do things by yourself for the first time. It feels like everyone is staring at you, judging you for being alone, thinking that you don’t have any friends, or anything else along these lines. At least, this is what the experience was like for me the first couple times when I would go out and do things on my own (and if it wasn’t like this for you, consider yourself lucky, because it kind of sucks).Â
But, after pushing myself out of my comfort zone and feeling awkward the first couple of times, I have grown to fall in love with the so-called “solo outing” (at least that’s what I’m calling it). Honestly, I genuinely look forward to it when I have time to make one happen, and just enjoy the time that I spend with myself. It gives me so much time to think and reflect, and also just truly get to do exactly what I want to do, all the time, which is awesome.Â
I think something important to me too is that my alone time is spent being active, or doing something that is outside my house. I very much consider myself an extrovert, and love to be surrounded by people and talk, and my social battery is pretty long-lasting. When I’ve had a super long day and am feeling drained, I want to go out and socialize in order to fill my cup, because I have found that if I wallow in my feelings alone it just makes me feel worse. Obviously, everyone is different in this regard, but I have just found that this is how I operate. So, when I have a craving for some serious alone time, I want to go out and do something, and typically take that chance to do something I’ve been dying to try, like a new bookstore or cafe to explore.Â
I seriously cannot recommend some of these solo outings enough. I know that it can feel awkward and silly at first (trust, I’ve been there), but once you get used to it, it’s awesome, and I really think that it has taught me a lot about myself. One thing that I have definitely noticed is that it has made me more confident in my decision-making, and I no longer consider myself to be an indecisive person. When you are confronted with an entire city to explore and only your own opinion to consider, you learn about how to evaluate what you truly want to do with your time. And this skill is really easy to transfer to so many areas of life, because you learn how to be confident in your decisions as well, and confident in your own opinions and thought processes.Â
Having this time to yourself also gives you so much time to truly reflect on how your life is going, and how you’ve really been feeling. I feel like so often in our day to day lives that we are so busy or preoccupied with the other people around us that our own thoughts and feelings kind of get drowned out by the background noise, which can make it really hard to work through them, or give them the space and time that they require. When I spend this active time with myself, I allow my brain to just go wherever it takes me, and try not to repress any of my thoughts that come, because I am in the space where I can consider them in their full glory, and not just have to shove them down in order to think about other things. This has become so freeing, and really gives me a lot of insight about what is taking up my brain space at the moment.Â
Finally, probably the biggest takeaway from this so far is that I have truly learned how to enjoy my own company (which sounds so cheesy, but it’s true I swear). I can go out with just myself and truly have a great time, and really appreciate the time I am spending getting to know myself and enjoying the things I want to do. I am such a firm believer in that idea that when you truly love and appreciate yourself, the relationships around you (whether these be romantic, friendships, anything) will reflect this back to you. I think that’s such a lovely idea, and I have truly felt the appreciation for myself, my thoughts, my interests, my feelings, grow after all of these experiences. It’s been a really cool experience for me, and has taught me a lot about myself.Â
I have begun to enjoy this time so much that I am currently in the process of planning a solo trip for myself this summer, which I am so excited about. The idea of taking a whole trip by myself still seems so scary, even for me, but the excitement about it is overwhelming the fear, and also the idea that I think I will regret it if I don’t try it at least once. There’s a quote I saw that said, “doing it alone is scary, but not doing it at all is even scarier” and I really like that idea. I never want the fear of doing it alone to keep me from doing the things I want to in life.
Overall, I really recommend trying a solo outing. Even though it’s scary, or awkward, I promise, it’ll be worth it, and you’ll thank yourself later.