IQ, an intelligence quotient, is a mere figure that puts a number on brainpower and your self-worth. As a “gifted child”, I wondered why this brought great reassurance. I felt pleased to make others proud with my academic achievements, but I wasn’t at my best, brightest, happiest self.
Emotional intelligence, or EQs, are often overlooked. Especially at a school like UCLA, people value academics; but emotional intelligence matters. Understanding and managing your own emotions is critical to building a successful life and career. Balancing a conversation, asking meaningful questions, and managing a rollercoaster of adulthood emotions is ESSENTIAL.
Let’s discuss the power of EQ and how we can build it together!
what is eq?
Emotional intelligence is the ability to manage your emotions and understand the emotions of the people that you interact with. There are a few key elements to this: having self-awareness, motivation, empathy, social skills, and self-regulation.
These characteristics may not typically be associated with the stereotypical form of Albert Einstein intelligence, but these traits are often found in highly successful people such as George Clooney, Princess Diana (the late princess, not Ice Spice lol), and many others.
healthy drive for success
If you want to channel your “inner” Princess Diana, work on improving your emotional intelligence! She had a healthy drive for success. Diana also understood how to successfully work on self-marketing.
You should NOT continue to push yourself to your limit, but rather understand and take breaks when necessary. Burnout is a real thing, especially mid-quarter!
Set small goals for yourself to work towards and create flexible (not constricting) plans to accomplish this. Motivating yourself is key, so understanding what brings you genuine happiness and ways you can maneuver this as a tool for success will lead to higher efficiency. This will ultimately give you a stronger sense of purpose in your life.
stronger relationships
Princess Diana was considered a “queen of hearts” and you can be, too!
Start by understanding your own emotions within relationships. This can mean journaling or just taking time to think about how you truly feel in your current season of life. Ask yourself questions like: “Why did this make me upset?” and “How can I be a more supportive friend?”. By doing this, you will begin to understand the reasons why you react in certain ways, and this will allow you to better control your emotions.
After this, work on understanding the emotions of others. Ask yourself questions like: “She’s acting quieter today. What can I do to make her feel better if she’s going through a tough time?” and “Given the circumstances, when is the appropriate time to talk about X?”. Understanding variance in body language, tone, and micro-facial expressions will allow you to better connect with and relate to others.
It’s also CRITICAL to handle criticism well. To be fair, most of us would get mad if someone says our pet is ugly (my dog would probably bite them) or our handwriting is bad (tbh, mine is, lol). However, don’t take things personally. This allows you to practice this skill because in a more serious situation, if someone you care about says that you did something to upset them, you won’t get defensive. Rather, you have the opportunity to reflect on that interaction and have a genuine conversation about it. This will allow you to grow as a person and build a stronger relationship with more trust.
mental health management
Admittedly, managing stress and a roller coaster of emotions during the quarter can be extremely difficult. If you can identify early signs that your mental health and well-being are deteriorating, you can work at it and treat stress before you feel like Lana Del Rey, who got robbed at the 2024 Grammys.
Find things that help you feel happier, and surround yourself with people who build you up.
Depending on your situation, therapy is an option. This can be scary, but in the long run, it makes a difference!
How can you build your eq?
As a wrap-up, here are five major tips to build your EQ muscle!
1. Work on self-awareness to observe patterns in relationships and use this to make positive changes.
2. Understand the root emotions behind anger and mood shifts to improve well-being.
3. Vocalize your true feelings despite discomfort.
4. THINK AND LISTEN before you speak.
5. NEVER FORGET to ask for help. Everyone needs some advice at times, so don’t feel bad doing this. Most people will feel happy that you value their opinion enough to get help from them; this can even strengthen bonds!
In these ways, EQ is just as (or arguably more) important than IQ. Just like you study to raise your IQ, you can also improve your EQ by working on yourself and how you interact with others. Surround yourself with positive influences and take it step-by-step!