We all want to live our own fairytales, don’t we? When it comes to romance, we should not expect it to be the way rom-coms have presented it as, and there are some serious reality checks that we need to face. First, no relationship is perfect. Second, love is not an easy thing to possess. So why is it so easy to romanticize the concept of romance? Film, television and books may be the biggest reason why many women idealize love. I often find myself becoming indulged in romantic films and books, and it is important to recognize that there is nothing wrong with ingesting romantic narratives in various forms of media. But while it is okay to indulge, we must realize that what we are absorbing is not reality.
In a lot of romantic narratives, the emphasis is often placed on the notion that the only way to find happiness is through finding the “right one for you.” But this cannot be true, as happiness is not dependent on being in a romantic relationship. There are plenty of single people living a good, happy life. Happiness is about accepting yourself and doing what you want to do. Sadly, most media narratives, including daytime television shows and magazines such as Cosmopolitan, Glamour and Elle, tend to focus on how women are not truly whole until they find the “one.” The idea of the “one” is so toxic. People who think the world will magically be fixed when they find their soulmate are deluding themselves. That is not how love works, but it is often how rom-coms are structured. Sadly, real life is not a cute rom-com where everything is tied in a pretty bow at the end. There is no kissing in the rain, nor lovers running to each other at the airport in slow motion. Love is messy and the people we fall for are just as messy. It is important to know not to expect perfection from our romantic partners. Love should be about finding our own happiness and self-worth, not relying on someone else to “save” us.
It is important to know that romantic comedies are designed to make sense only within the structure of a 90-minute to two-hour long film. Real life involves many more hours, days, weeks, months and eventually years. I do enjoy immersing myself in the genre though, because the logic of a rom-com brings comfort. However, it is vital to recognize the thin line between enjoying the entertainment of rom-coms versus holding them up as a standard for reality. Being a hopeless romantic is not a bad thing as an aesthetic, but if you find yourself to be one, you must be able to understand that love is flawed and not always as tidy and easy as fiction often portrays it to be.